Are you annoying ??....tiuniasing !!!

- by chau_fah_hai -

The following is not an exhaustive list of people who are deemed not even worth devil's time to mutilate......

1) People who speak out loud on the phone in places where you are morally suppose to keep your bloody voice down. Even if you need to speak, speak softly. I came across an incident where a guy was yacking away without an utter consideration that there might be some sane people who are trying to get some sleep in a bus. The conversation is ...well....bloody typical. You know, like "Dear, can you hear me...I can hear you ".......what the chibai ??!!!! This is nothing.......the worst is this. That guy was telling the person on the phone ( presumably a girl, otherwise.........) that he was in some place and acted as though like he has been in Ethiopia for the rest of his fucking life. It goes something like this :
Guy : Dear, ni zhi dao wo men chi shi mo ma ? Wo men chi "kai lan" chau "kai lan" aaa !!!! Zhi hau xiao !!!! ( trans : Dear, do you know what we eat ? We eat "kai lan" fry " kai lan" aaa !!! Damn funny ) By the way, this guy looks like an Ah Beng, so you get the effect of his expression.
My point is, why must you people be such an ass !!?? Didn't it come across your mind to RESPECT others !!!???

2) People who swerve or overtake you WITHOUT signalling when driving. I can forgive you if you are disable and reaching the signal stick seems like swiming to the moon, but pretending to be one is so physical retard of you !!! Please laaaa, the signal stick is made for you to TELL people you are turning, even if it's just a slight swerve. You must be a fucking retard if you can't even do that. Or maybe you use that stick to satisfy your sexual predatopry instinct ??!!!! What is wrong with you people ??? COnvenient ????? Fuck you !!! Go crash your car and you are a real convenient to law-abiding road-users.

3) Fast drivers are also another piece of shit. If you met an accident one day, I will really stop by to help by guffawing at you.

4) Commentators in cinema are another group of people deserved to be raped by the "EXIT" signage. Why the fuck you must talk and yack while watching a movie !!!??? "Oi, I pay the ticket, I got the right to do so !!!" Yea, but dude, I ALSO PAY THE TICKET AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STRIP YOU AND FUCK YOU TO KINGDOM COME IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT FUCKING MOUTH OF YOURS !!!!! A typical scene is as below. By the way, I managed to take a picture of this "Man" punya expression right after I courteously begged asked him to tone down. Please imagine his face throughout the following scenario.

Oi, you ask me to shar dup aaa ???!!! oyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!

Advertisement showing Jessica Alba with Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Jessica Alba ( followed by some comments to show that he has extensive knowledge about Alba's curvy body. )

Advertisement showing Maxis with some footballers.

Man : Ahh, World Cup. ( abu den ??? your lanjiao glowing aa ??!! )

Advertisement showing Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Carlsberg

Partner : Wwaaa....you so clever.

Man : Of course I know, I everyday drink one. I so macho. You like me ?MMMmmm....

PArtner : yyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..................I like you hor. You very the ker ai horrrr !!!

Man : ( Please refer to the picture I took of him again ) ...yahhh...horrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

'nuff said ....obviously both this guy and his chic or fren or watever animal is that is ultimately either stupid or not worth my time to think of an adjective.

Like I mention above, this is not an exhaustive list of people who deserved to be shipped to Iraq and let those happy Iraqi stroke your butt.

If you happen to have this tingling feeling that you might be one of the person characterized above, please feel free to paste your pic on the space below for worshipping purposes by the the great actor, Bobby Yip Kin Sang a.k.a Bat Leung Gum

EEeeee...ehehehehee....eeeeeee.....ehehehe......eeeeeeeee

If you really are one of the people above, please laaa...after being worshipped by Mr Yip, please please go and do the world a favour by joining Barisan National. I heard they are on recruitment drive and you could be a star among their ranks.

Chibetttt !!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta be "IN"......tiuniasing !!!!

- by chau_fah_hai -

How to be a Klang Valley socialite :

1) Go to Bali or Bangkok, and then share pictures around
2) Work with a company that has offices in some Paedophile Philleos, Avenues,
Squares, Bangsar, KLCC, HArtamas area
3) Frequenting hot night spots. Zouk, Red, Chocolate, Nasi Lemak etc
4) Talk about Ikea.
5) Oogle about goatees.( for girls )
6) Grow goatees ( for guys )
7) Have an English name and don't let nobody know about your Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan
name
8) Talk about Japanese restaurants.
9) Make sure your occupation ends with the word "Executive" preceded by " Business" or "IT". No,
engineers aren't cool.....unless you are erection engineer.
10) Smoke like chimney !! Even if you can't smoke, wiggle one cigarette ( cigars are the fads
nowadays ) in your hands so as to impress people.
11) Laugh like mad at scenes like the one the lembu picit the milk in the movie Kung Pao.
12) Make lame jokes like "Wah, your handphone so canggih until can fly !"
13) Grow sideburns.
14) Always try to show off that you know where to eat great food.
15) Make lame jokes like " Wah, the traffic light got three lights ! Why don;t they make one with four
lights ?"

Alright, let me get me gear, hang out with some Johns, Sallys, Sandys, Michelles to dig more on what Socialites do and talk so that I can enlighten you wuzzes.

Socialites...tiuniasing !!!