omg.....what wrath hath we brought upon mankind?!

Thanks to my best buds!

2010-04-07T22:41:00.005+08:00

On March last month, i finally get married and had my 2 best bud to come witness and also become my photographer. well i'm really grateful to them on one of my important day of my life. i only got 1 photo with them inside... :-D

Thanks man!! and too bad my other bud, chau_fah_hai can't make it.... next yumcha is on you man....

ps. when i can have my all my photos ah ? hehe....

Road Pests – A HEX on you…

2007-08-07T13:49:00.000+08:00

BEWARE!!

For many donkey years, Malaysian roads have been infested by pests that could easily dethrone cockroaches as the King of Pests. These low-lives are multiplying by the seconds and science has yet discovered their origins and how they come about to plague the world. What is for certain is that they are here to stay and they are growing more menacing by the minute.

I just had an experience this morning with these road-pests cum sons-of-asses. Minding my own business while I was driving, casually putting on the turn-right signal moving to the right lane, when I noticed one of these road barbarians on two-wheelers careening beside all the cars from far. Noticing that this dumbass-brainless-shit-goat-for-a-father moron was still far away, I slowly maneuvered my car to the right lane.

And guess what? This asshole-shit-for-a-brain-Goddamned-scum-of-society continued to speed forward. Had I not stopped he would have rammed directly into the side of my car, flying meters into the air before crashing onto ground spilling what’s left in that nutshell-head of his onto the road. OHHH HOW I hoped I had not stopped. I would have done the world a favor by reducing the number of idiots in this world. But I did one of the stupidest things; I stopped, allowing him to pass. And what do I get in return? The motherless fool stopped and yanked a fucking dent in my car!

Could you imagine that?! Could you even possibly imagine that?! Had I not restrained myself, I would have jammed on the accelerator and grinded him down on the spot. But ALAS, I did not! And he sped off.

May all who read this blog bear witness to this forbidden HEX that I am about to put on the driver of motorcycle plate number WNG 9583….

“By the elements of nature and all living entities, may thou hear thy summon…
Let he who crossed me, Malay male aged around 27 years, riding a cub number WNG 9583 be at your mercy…
Let his rectum be closed and urethra be clogged,
Let he not sleep and yet not awake,
Let he be terminated from employment and his bank account frozen,
Let he cry help but get none in return,
Let him loved but get no such sweet returns,
Let him eat but forever be hungry,
Let him question but get no answer…
May his soul be forever at war... never at peace.
Let he end his life but to no avail,
Till the days of last shall he live with his treachery
And may this HEX be upon him until the day he repent his doings…”

……

Anyway after that, I made a police report but nothing much the police can do about these shit-for-brain people. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t exercise your legal rights.

FUCK the asshole that made fun of the NEGARAKU

2007-07-31T12:34:00.000+08:00

Need i say more?

FUCK U! Traitor.

I personally do not find making fun of your own country's national anthem something amusing. Heck, well what was badly sung has its truth but undoubtedly making fun of your own birth country is downright treason and idiotic: like saying

"hey, my mom's a prostitute, she loves my cripple brother more than she loves me,
Though she clothed me, feed me, and nurture me, she's still a prostitute... bcoz she's unfair"

It's even worse IF you sing about another country, what right do you have?

Nobody / Nothing is perfect, and no country for that matter. If you fucking feel that you are being mistreated, then move to another country!

MALAYSIA is not a great country, I'll give you that. MAJOR sucked at FOOTBALL, you should see what WIKIPEDIA says about Malaysian Football. Fucking government double-standard, stupid Penang food (Ipoh food's the best, but NOOOOO, Penang oo ho chiak eh har mee), ungrateful maggots all-around, bla bla bla... etc... etc..

Though so, a not-so-old Chinese saying "比上不足，比下有餘". If you are not proud of your country, what CAN you be proud of? A by-product of dung, that's wat u r, yeah u.

And I fucking despised all the-rest-of-balance-shitholes that find this despicable act funny. Yeah, u. Don't pretend you don't know who I am talking about.

May GOD (and ISA) have mercy on you.

To all Sri Sentosa Kuchai Lama especially class of '95.........Niaseng !

2007-04-20T18:09:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai-

From me to you ex-Sri Sentosas students of 1995. Have a happy fucking day !!

You all let dog rape !!!

Check my type out....

2007-04-20T17:14:00.000+08:00

Today i was given a site and do some test...and here's my results...

Amazing i have no idea i'm 'that rare' type... so what's your type?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Crap country ruled by craps.......tiuniaseng !!!!

2007-04-20T10:13:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

So, wahdegreat is back. Yay.

Kenzo's b'day. Oh, whopee.

Ok. Enough with all the shitty ceremonious (mimicking stupid Yang Cheng Lin's and other Friendster assholes's squeaky voice ) "Oh, Happy Birthday ge !! Eat alredi de ! Why didnt come geh !!" cutey(NOT !) shits. By the way, what's with all these "geh","de" and "ge" ???? The young Malaysian Chinese are really craps nowadays. They are so fucking damn worried if they forgot to wish or nvr being wished Happy Birthday or to be added into their friend's Friendster or forgot to add their friend into their friendster shit. Bloody shit, they should be worrying about stuffs like ...what if Eistein hadn't abandon his infamous cosmological constant ? Or what if Planck changed his mind about his blackbody radiation shit ? What if Huang Di were never born ? That would be a damn right catastrophe cos there won'tbe any Chinese at all !!!! There are so many things that's worth our time and effort to worry and yet, these ah lians worried about how they can creatively use words like "Hao ke ai horr" and sentences ending with "de","dy","ge",geh" so that they can be outstanding among their "hao ker ai" peers

Ah lian in orange : Ni jue de wo ker ai ma ? ( You fucking think I am fucking cute or not? )

Front row ah lians : Ni hao ke ai oooo ! Ta ye hao ke ai de ! ( You fucking cute oooooo ! She ( red shirt girl ) also fucking cute 'de' !)

Middle row ah lians : Ee, wei she ni men na mo ke ai ge ? ( Ee, why you all so fucking cute 'ge'? )

Fat ah lian in the middle : Wo jue de wo zhen de hao ker ai geh ! ( I fucking think I am fucking cute 'geh' )

Oh, the humanity !!! Oh, saviour, hear me now ! Bestow upon me your blessed curse and courage so I may withstand such atrocities ! Saviour, do not forsake me in this fight against evil !

Lo and behold, my prayers were answered in the elegant shape below with the almighty powerful

weapon to counter such inhumane atrocities :

Saviour : Oh, girls. Look what I got ya !

Oh yea !!! Give it to us ! I am soooo excited ! Lift me higher, bitches !!! I need to grab Saviour's weapon !

Another Ah lian : Oooo !!! Very the ker ai de geh ! I'm so the high de !!

Yea, fuck you friendster biatches !!

Anyway, this wasn't my intended article, but I felt it's worth mentioning though. My actual intention is now subsequenting.

Yes, what a great bi-weeks we have recently. ANd so juicy too, cos two by-elections had and going to take place. The ~~Machatt~~ Machap and the Ijok one.

Just a quick run down on these two constituents. I bloody never heard before of these two kampungs until recently, thanks to heavy publicity by local dailies here. Brought a great buzz to the ~~town~~ kampungs though. Well, Machap went into this frenzy by-election because its MP Poh Ah Tiam ( for those in the know, I deliberately omit his title plainly because I hate M'sian gorment ) passed away. And hence, the showdown between BN_MCA and DAP. We all know the outcome. No, I'm not talking about BN winning that confounded election. I'm talking about how the election proved people from Machap are practically, deaf, dumb and mute.

Now, fast forward to Ijok. Same thing laaa, someone die and then what else, by election lorrr. This time, at time of production of this article, it's BN-MIC vs Parti Keadilan Rakyat. Like Machap, I'm sure Ijok is also made up of deaf, dumb and mute. Not forgetting stupid. That goes to Machap people also. And I really mean it. And I don't fucking regret for what I say.

Anyway, my main objective here is to highlight the events that accompanies the election. Take a look at the pictures below.

The annual hunt for bottled Carlsberg to be consumed in kopitiam later got off to a great start.

"WOooooo ! Woooooo !! Wooooooooo !"

So, what's so special above the picture ? Police catching stupid fucking Indon immigrants ? Some sort of demos ? Well, I'm sure you can conjure up anything that has relation to crime and violence.

This is a scene from the by-election thing. What the fuck ?!

I have always thought election is democracy's peacful and loving way of showing people's power. But it seems otherwise, as shown in the two pix.

The MPs, Datuks, of respective camps, I thought, should present a gentlemen conduct during elction and nomination day and conduct they way they should be conducting, that is, in a manner that the rakyat can respect. But as we, the always-know-way-ahead of government, knows, the election was marred by incidents as above.

Adults seemingly representing us, the rakyat, brawling around like fucking schoolchildren. Have they got no shame ? Guess not cos as soon as you enter politics, you have just sold your soul to the almighty Satan. You have no shame, no pride, no dmoral, no dignity.

Look at other western democracy country. Both parties shake hand and greet each other. DO you see them brawling like headless chicky ?

Just imagine, these are the people who works for the parties. And if they look are fucking gangsters, guess who is their kepala.

How to live in Malaysia anymore !?

Shame on you, Malaysian government ! Shame on you Barisan Nasional !! Fuck you Samy Vellu !

To UMNO, MCA and MIC.....tiuniaseng chau chibek !!!!!

Happy Birthday MasterKenzo!!!!

2007-04-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday MasterKenzo!!!!

That's it.... Here's a birthday song for u....

wo hui lai le

2007-04-10T19:42:00.000+08:00

I AM BACK!!! YOOOOO HOOOO!!!

Hello?! err... anybody... er.. home?

Where the fuck is everyone?

Man, I can't believe I left town for a while and everybody stop blogging... I am touched, I really am.. I knew you guys can't live without me but this.. this is just so so sob sob sob touching...

It's like going away and the whole world misses you... damn! I didn't know I have that kind of effect on people...

What?! I beg your pardon. Oh... that, where have I been? Well, working working working, traveling traveling... China, Taiwan, Melaka, Penang, Kuching, Puchong, Seri Petaling, Kajang, you know, the works.. just to name a few. It's funny how traveling opens one's eyes...... especially if you bring along your LUMIX 10.2 megapixel with 12X Optical Zoom upto 16X Digital Zoom!! WOO-HOOOOOO!!!

Well, China was work, though I DID get some after-work action (If yer know wat ah mean... ). Taiwan waaaaaaas cool coz it ain't work. And I don mean the weather. Didn't get much action in Taiwan.. but I did catch these two fellas getting some at the airport...

Well, they WERE doing it in public.. airport some more.. what a great way to show tourist that Taipei is only cool in the weather but warmmmmmmmmmmm everywhere else...

Anyhow, it's great to be back.. China and Taiwan is a great place to visit, but staying there.. I wouldn't consider.

Trust me, you don wana be living in a country where...

... people use dustbins as a head ornaments while playing flute and giant chickens walking around.

Are you annoying ??....tiuniasing !!!

2006-11-07T18:57:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

The following is not an exhaustive list of people who are deemed not even worth devil's time to mutilate......

1) People who speak out loud on the phone in places where you are morally suppose to keep your bloody voice down. Even if you need to speak, speak softly. I came across an incident where a guy was yacking away without an utter consideration that there might be some sane people who are trying to get some sleep in a bus. The conversation is ...well....bloody typical. You know, like "Dear, can you hear me...I can hear you ".......what the chibai ??!!!! This is nothing.......the worst is this. That guy was telling the person on the phone ( presumably a girl, otherwise.........) that he was in some place and acted as though like he has been in Ethiopia for the rest of his fucking life. It goes something like this :
Guy : Dear, ni zhi dao wo men chi shi mo ma ? Wo men chi "kai lan" chau "kai lan" aaa !!!! Zhi hau xiao !!!! ( trans : Dear, do you know what we eat ? We eat "kai lan" fry " kai lan" aaa !!! Damn funny ) By the way, this guy looks like an Ah Beng, so you get the effect of his expression.
My point is, why must you people be such an ass !!?? Didn't it come across your mind to RESPECT others !!!???

2) People who swerve or overtake you WITHOUT signalling when driving. I can forgive you if you are disable and reaching the signal stick seems like swiming to the moon, but pretending to be one is so physical retard of you !!! Please laaaa, the signal stick is made for you to TELL people you are turning, even if it's just a slight swerve. You must be a fucking retard if you can't even do that. Or maybe you use that stick to satisfy your sexual predatopry instinct ??!!!! What is wrong with you people ??? COnvenient ????? Fuck you !!! Go crash your car and you are a real convenient to law-abiding road-users.

3) Fast drivers are also another piece of shit. If you met an accident one day, I will really stop by to help by guffawing at you.

4) Commentators in cinema are another group of people deserved to be raped by the "EXIT" signage. Why the fuck you must talk and yack while watching a movie !!!??? "Oi, I pay the ticket, I got the right to do so !!!" Yea, but dude, I ALSO PAY THE TICKET AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STRIP YOU AND FUCK YOU TO KINGDOM COME IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT FUCKING MOUTH OF YOURS !!!!! A typical scene is as below. By the way, I managed to take a picture of this "Man" punya expression right after I courteously ~~begged~~ asked him to tone down. Please imagine his face throughout the following scenario.

Oi, you ask me to shar dup aaa ???!!! oyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!

Advertisement showing Jessica Alba with Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Jessica Alba ( followed by some comments to show that he has extensive knowledge about Alba's curvy body. )

Advertisement showing Maxis with some footballers.

Man : Ahh, World Cup. ( abu den ??? your lanjiao glowing aa ??!! )

Advertisement showing Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Carlsberg

Partner : Wwaaa....you so clever.

Man : Of course I know, I everyday drink one. I so macho. You like me ?MMMmmm....

PArtner : yyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..................I like you hor. You very the ker ai horrrr !!!

Man : ( Please refer to the picture I took of him again ) ...yahhh...horrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

'nuff said ....obviously both this guy and his chic or fren or watever animal is that is ultimately either stupid or not worth my time to think of an adjective.

Like I mention above, this is not an exhaustive list of people who deserved to be shipped to Iraq and let those happy Iraqi stroke your butt.

If you happen to have this tingling feeling that you might be one of the person characterized above, please feel free to paste your pic on the space below for worshipping purposes by the the great actor, Bobby Yip Kin Sang a.k.a Bat Leung Gum

EEeeee...ehehehehee....eeeeeee.....ehehehe......eeeeeeeee

If you really are one of the people above, please laaa...after being worshipped by Mr Yip, please please go and do the world a favour by joining Barisan National. I heard they are on recruitment drive and you could be a star among their ranks.

Chibetttt !!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta be "IN"......tiuniasing !!!!

2006-11-06T09:59:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

How to be a Klang Valley socialite :

1) Go to Bali or Bangkok, and then share pictures around
2) Work with a company that has offices in some ~~Paedophile~~ Philleos, Avenues,
Squares, Bangsar, KLCC, HArtamas area
3) Frequenting hot night spots. Zouk, Red, Chocolate, Nasi Lemak etc
4) Talk about Ikea.
5) Oogle about goatees.( for girls )
6) Grow goatees ( for guys )
7) Have an English name and don't let nobody know about your Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan
name
8) Talk about Japanese restaurants.
9) Make sure your occupation ends with the word "Executive" preceded by " Business" or "IT". No,
engineers aren't cool.....unless you are erection engineer.
10) Smoke like chimney !! Even if you can't smoke, wiggle one cigarette ( cigars are the fads
nowadays ) in your hands so as to impress people.
11) Laugh like mad at scenes like the one the lembu picit the milk in the movie Kung Pao.
12) Make lame jokes like "Wah, your handphone so canggih until can fly !"
13) Grow sideburns.
14) Always try to show off that you know where to eat great food.
15) Make lame jokes like " Wah, the traffic light got three lights ! Why don;t they make one with four
lights ?"

Alright, let me get me gear, hang out with some Johns, Sallys, Sandys, Michelles to dig more on what Socialites do and talk so that I can enlighten you wuzzes.

Socialites...tiuniasing !!!

Ooooooooooo !!! Nabeh !!!!!!!!

2006-09-28T08:58:00.000+08:00

by chau_fah_hai

Gracia !!!! Do I hear a comeback plea from you wuss ?????
Gracia !!! chau_fah_hai is back !!! hardo gay !! FUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

DAmn sian laaaa........oh yah, our friend wahdegreat is going to China for business trip wooorrrr....
And he's playing cool. Lanjiao fucker......

wahdegreat : Fuck pak ku or do business......fuck pak ku or do business......fuck pak ku or do business......

In Guangxi :
boss : Wah wah, come, let's fuck pak ku
wah wah : no, boss.......i wanna stay in hotel watch hardo gay.
boss : What ?
wah wah : ( take off shirt, revealing leather jacket like our hardo gay hero ) Fuiyoooo !!! hardo gay is here !!! Hardo come to save yocko !!!! Ooooooooooooooo !!!!!!!
boss : fuck u !! Get off me !!!!

Let's have a toast and grow goatee so those Sallys. Melissas, Johns, Peters, Kellys can drooll over us.

Nabeh !!!!!!!

DEMOTIVATOR

2006-09-26T13:07:00.000+08:00

-by masterkenzo-

Just when you are feeling down in the dumps, the last thing you'll expect would be for someone to sneak in from behind and shove a D24 durian up your tiny arse , all the while whispering into your ears. "It ain't a pretty world, fish!"

Scary thing is, there ARE people who enjoyed getting the above treatment. So, here you are.... a series of DEMOTIVATOR!!!

And my favourite.....

BUahahahaha!!! Just the very thing to brighten up your lousy week ,huh?
More to come , folks!! Meanwhile, enjoy the durian.....LOL

Last Prayer

2006-08-16T13:40:00.000+08:00

Few days back i received this sms from masterkenzo... and i want to share it here... and here it goes...

"Let us all pray for leong's cd player. It is a good player & it has gone thru joy & pain with all of us. It will always hav a special place in our heart. Altough de depart is abrupt but we hope tt de player is in a better place now."
- MasterKenzo

I certainly hope it does.

Car Break-in News

2006-08-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

Kuala Lumpur, Aug 14th - A japanese MPV was found breaked in last night around midnight in one of the suburban area of kuala lumpur, according to police.

The car owner was shocked when he discover about the break-in when he was about to go to work early today. The car was in total chaos. The dashboard and the box compartemnt of the car was ripped apart. The car cd player and some of the coins were also found missing from the car. According to the car owner, he parked his car in the alley next to his home the night before which he usually parked inside his house. He added that there's no alarm being raised during that night.

According to preliminary investigation of the police, they believed the thieves want to steal the vehicle (which explains the break-in) and they proceed to steal the car stereo instead. The motive behind such move was still under investigations. For the moment, the police has advises the car owners in the neighbourhood to lock their cars and rear dogs to help to curb increasing incidents of break-in and stolen cars recently in kuala lumpur.

Meanwhile, the car owner is devastated that such incidents can happen in a peaceful neighbourhood where he has been living for more that a decade. This incident reminds us how harsh reality of society can hit you anytime anywhere when you least expecting it.

Sei ! Sei ! Sei ! Foooooooo!!!!!!

2006-07-16T19:22:00.000+08:00

All the way from The Land Of Rising Sun, I present to you........

Hardoo Gei !!!! (Hard Gay) Fooooooooo!!!!!!

Chau_Fa_Hai.... you will see gays like you never see before! And you will LOVE them like there's no tomorrow!!!

Sei ! Sei ! Sei ! Foooooooo!!!!

PLEASE HELP, BELIEVE ME.. ITS TRUE!!!!

2006-07-07T14:32:00.000+08:00

Good day,

my name is X-t-rongunus from planet X-trons. As my name implies, i m alien not from earth but i landed here not on my free will 3 years ago and have since lived among u. i share much similarity with earth humans and not many people know that i m alien. by your law i m resident of singapore nationality. i am actually the leader in my planet X-trons but my ministers overthrows me because i was kind to my people and they not think the same as me.

when i fled my planet because they wanted to murder me using poison that they put in my food during my dinner at my castle, i took together with me a mineral that is very abundant in my planet. only when i come to earth do i know that in earth also have same mineral called gold. it seems that earth humans have high appreciation of this mineral that is a lot in my planet.

during my stay here, i have also discovered a weapon that can be used to take back my presidency from the betrayal ministers. to earth humans, this is sumthing very harmless but it will be harmful to people of X-trons. this new weapon that i found on earth is called paper money. sumhow the substance used to make money is very poisonus to us. even i cannot touch it. but i also discovered that my people is only poisonous to paper money of Malaysia, ringgit malaysia to be exactly.

as such, i implore to you good people of Malaysia to help me in my quest to reclaim back my planet. it doesnt matter what is the amount. it can be rm1 or even rm5. i require it in weightage. for the same kilogrammes of paper money that you contribute to me, i will return to you 2 times the weightage in gold. as i have said, this mineral is alot in X-trons.

i have approached the malaysian government for help but they have yet to come back to me. from their tones, it seems that they are not interested to help me in my quest. it seems that they are using the money to further construct a bridge to singapore and that someone named semi value is hogging the funds to build a castle for himself.

Dear good sir / madam, as such i implore for your assistance. Your can reach me on this e mail address for more discussion and briefings: x_t_rongun@alienRus.com.
This transaction is 100%risk free.
Anticipating hearing from you soon.

Thanks and God bless you and your family

X-t-rongunus

p.s. I have attached a photo of myself for clarifications should you require to meet up to further discuss on it. from my photo, i believe that you will know that i am a very established and can be trusted person.
I have asked my good friend WAHDEGREAT to help me in compiling the money that is required to help me take back my planet. Please contact him. If he asks you to transfer the cash to him. please do. Thank you again.

: Please help my planet.

HAO LIN TIAO....

2006-06-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

OI TIAO NGIA NGAI TIAO!
Where the fuck is everyone?! Please tell;
Is this a blog site or jus a fucking empty shell?
Why are there no posts or did i miss something? Did the sky fell?!

MASTERKENZO's busy with AMAWAY, i heard,
MASTERBEAR's trying to sprout wings like a bird;
and Chau_Fah_Hai's giving tech support. What a fucking nerd!
WAHDEGREAT... well i m posting now, aren't i? U FAGGORT!

Have we ran out of ideas? Have we gone dry?
OF COURSE NOT, not me! Tiu nia ma chan chi bai!
Though i can't say the same for Chau_Fah_Hai...
Where's your criticism, rantings and the likes?!

And MASTERKENZO, you started this damn blog,
Now you've vanished, like the early morning fog;
Your only remnants is that dumbass optical ops,
I hope someone will kick ya bollocks!

MASTERBEAR, the sorriest arses of all,
Don't even bother to blog, msn, or call;
You fucking bitch! Prostitute! WHORE!!!
Or you'd rather i call you a cutey little doll?

If you guys are oblivious to all these hurls & insults,
it means u guys don't even check our blog! For crying out loud!
or maybe we're just not cut-out....
to be a part of the bloggers' crowd...

wahdegreat = BraMaster !!?? Nabeh !!!!

2006-05-26T13:11:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

***Yawwwnnnn !!!***

An jua ???!! Kaneneh chibai..............

Ok, I was in MSN today and wah wah ( wahdegreat ) came online in a dastardly lansi manner, never fails in that....

He told me worked in a bra company !!!! Fuck it !!! BRA !!! YEa !! Bra !!!!! As in

<========== BraMAster!!!!

Wooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucky prick !!! People ( like masterkenzo and ~~masturbate~~masterbear ) paid astronomical amount ( heck, them two can afford it what ) and go all out just to get the latest hardware which enable them to torrent dirty movies just so they could watch boobies in action, but then our friend wahdegreat get paid to watch what boobies are !!!!! And get to watch the poetry of boobies in motion !!!

It's like ....

wahdegreat : Ma'am, may I look at your boobies ?
Ma'am : Why, yes of course. Be my guest.

Damn it, what are the fucking odds we get the same response if we start to ask such questions.
Man oh man......I wish there is a vacancy for Bra engineer.

But then again, there's a downside to this job laaa, I guess. Of course, the perk is that you have the chance not only to eye your enemy's gf's boobies, but to grope it as well..........but then again, the hazardous part comes when your boss ask you to measure that 90 year old grandma's boobies cos your boss wants you to target different segment of market...whooooaaaa, the sight of that segmet's boobies makes you think that a coroner's job is more satisfying......ninabeh !!!!

Whoa...... totally OPTICAL , man!!

2006-05-11T14:26:00.000+08:00

-by masterkenzo-

Whoa...... check this out guys!! It was a lazy afternoon in the office, there's no meeting and it's been a pretty slow week. So, I was playing around with my laptop, trying out the Windows calculator.... and suddenly...WHAM!!

I was able to hold the FUCKING calculator with my left hand and press it with my right hand!! Without using the mouse!! Cool, huh?

Yes, that's right , bIatches!! It's one of my OPTICAL ILLUSION masterpiece! And before you guys jump into conclusion that I'm using PhotoShop...Nope! I didn't use any of those Photo-Altering software. The only time I use Photoshop is when I need to crop the photo above. The trick is how I use the camera to photograph this seemingly impossible but YET possible scenario.

Start cracking your head, bIacthes!!

Funnies.........nabeh !!

2006-05-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

I was at the pantry this morning when my ultra-sensitive hearing picked up the following disturbing and intriguing conversation between a new colleague and a new trainee........

NC : Actually, can reach there ( how I know where ) faster by car.

Trainee : How come ?

NC : Because travel in car is faster than riding motorcycle if not traffic jam....

Chau_fah_hai : .......................................................

I know damn it, that car is faster than motorbike when traffic jam, but the innoccence ( and guiilibility ) protrayed was left much to be desired...and much laughter.....hahhaha...sure makes my morning feel good..nabeh !!!!

Tiao Ngia Ngai Tiao

2006-05-11T08:40:00.000+08:00

People in Malaysia like to use Hokkien profanities like ning nabeh, ho lang kan, chibai kia, lanchau chabor and stuffs like that every where. Not that I have anything against Hokkien, I myself frequently use words like “eh kanasai, lu bo da che ar?” and often with a mixture of English to exert some standard… “Brother, lu ker si la. Kong ha mi lancau language?”

BUT NO ONE gives due respect to Hakka profanities. It’s flamboyant, powerful yet flexible and full of meanings. Maybe it’s because no one actually goes around promoting it as strongly as I am…

That’s why I have decided to educate the less-educated ones on the usage of Hakka profanities. Feel free to learn it and do not be ashamed to use it. People will respect you for it. My goodself and Masterbear (Hainan exile who later joined the Hakka clan)…

chau_fah_hai: Fucking traitor!!!!
Masterkenzo: true… true…

… ahem, are two distinct proof of this. Me being advocate of profanities and him being goody-fake-fake-pretend-gentlemen only use words like “Excuse me, fuck u!”

Well then, enough about that. Let us begin our lesson with the most commonly used HPP (Hakka Power Profanities):
(How to pronounce? Pronounce it as you would in BM Baku. For those who do not know what BM Baku is, well too bad lor…)

Ma Kai Lin?
Direct Translation: “What penis?”
Meaning: What’s up?
Usage: A question.
Example:

Ngi Hi Zhong Fan Xu
Direct Translation: “You go and plant potato!”
Meaning: Please go and die.
Usage: To scold or fuck people. It is more used by Aunties to curse fishmongers / butchers / vege-sellers in the market. Not a true vulgar but strong words nonetheless.
Example:

Tiao Ngia Ngai Tiao
Direct Translation: “Fuck yours I fuck!”
Meaning: Oh my fuck!
Usage: very wide usage. More commonly used to convey surprise, happiness, anger and also malcontent.
Example:

All of these most commonly used HPP are flexible and CAN be used in practically any situations that you encounter. By practicing frequently, you will find yourself using these great Hakka profanities as if they were your second tongue.

For better results, use them together in your daily conversations. That way, not only will you be able to amaze your friends and colleagues, they will further respect you more. Don’t know how? Let me illustrate: -

Masterbear: Weh, u heard about this new technology gadget thingy called the X-3000-GHY?

Masterkenzo: (Amazed) Fuhhhh… tiao ngia ngai tiao! Really ah?

chau_fah_hai: Ehhh, ma kai lin? Wat is this ex-tree-townsend-thingy?

Masterbear: Well, it’s this new device that lets u watch over 50 channels on TV. You just need to subscribe to a decoder and get an account.

Masterkenzo, chau_fah_hai, Wahdegreat: ………..

Wahdegreat: That’s ASTRO la, ngi hi zhong fan xu la…

There you have it.

Masterbear loves meeting...........nabeh !!!

2006-05-10T17:53:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Just now, masterbear and I were on MSN, and then suddenly he says he need to go meeting......and laughing gleefully as he leaves the MSN chat room.......and this is how I depict his deep fondness and affection for company meetings...........

Nabeh !!!

After the killing spree.....nabeh !!!!

2006-05-10T12:38:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

So, after the killing spree, masterkenzo is back at what he do best......

Then, along came a super-mean-looking-dude, looking for a wholesome fun......

Mmmmm.....nipples so tits. Gimme your nipples now.

Oh yea ? You bitching whore, watch me !!!!!

Now, watch me change, you whore....neh neh neh neh

Yea, you bitching whore !! Do you like what you see ??!! You gonna gimme your nipples or what.........bitching whore you !!!!

What the fuck, I know it's lame....but I like to see you try doing the blog by just using Paint, 1 half hours, your superiors and colleague walking up and down the office........fuck you all, nabeh !!!!!

Enough with the Friend-Friend Stuff..BITCH!!

2006-05-04T18:46:00.000+08:00

-masterkenzo-

Fuck you bitches !! Can we have a stop on all these "friend-friend" stuff?? We're beginning to sound like the "Golden Girls" in their menopause ..!!

How the fuck are we gonna inccur wrath on mankind when we are busy-ing licking each other's ass here?

-_-

ooh...the humanity...

This has to end, bro.... and it ends right here.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA..!!!!!!

At last....our dignity has been restored..!!

DEATH to the INFIDELS!!

p/s : wahdegreat, when are you gonna return my book , "The Princess Who Loves The Prince Who Loves The Queen's Mother" ?? And my panty-hose? WHere the heck is MY panty-hose??

A thought on Friendships

2006-05-04T10:20:00.000+08:00

-by masterbear- (editor: oohh...at last, the great ONE surfaces...)

wahdegreat , your little warning on the 'Hex' or watever it is don't really scare me... but i think i owe you that sms thing.... not that i don't bother about it but just sometimes you just forget about it ...

after reading chaufahai and wahdegreat blog, well i makes me think for a while ... about friendships..... i've know these 3 fella here for a long time... so long that i don't remember how we get to know each other at the first place. Times flies pretty fast .... and i guess when the friendship becomes too long, we tend to take things for granted and become lazy in the relationship.... which i think the same for all others relationship as well....

i got to admit i'm becoming lazy also ... so when the 'incident' happened, it did bring the worst and best of us out. Worst , the trust we been building so long suddenly disappear and there's blaming, accusations and confusions among all of us. Bring the best of us, when we realized there're problem and we put away all our differences and resolved it for the sake of our friendship. Well that's what i did felt and feel glad about it.

So wahdegreat, i won't give a definition of friendship because i believe you don't need one if you believe in it. Like 'god', do you put in a definition to it? maybe my grasp of english and my ability to explain is kind of limited, but i do hope all my friends and readers here can understand what i'm trying to say here... if you don't maybe just drop me your comments. :-) . i'll be most appreciate it!

ps Friendship is like a highway where all of us run in our own lanes and by fate we meet and by will, we becomes friends... so someday we'll go in our own separate ways and but the memories that left behind is always remains.
Masterbear

Friendship ??? ...Nabeh

2006-05-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Nabeh....after I uttered those immortal words a few posts ago, I was severely ~~ass~~back-lashed by my friends, namely the three moderators.

Anyway, my two cents worth on friendship. I'd figure that friendship is kinda like the versatile UHU glue. For the uninitiated, it's a kind of.....glue. You use it to stick things together. Youngsters nowadays...**sigh** When you first squeeze it out, the gum's like a fluidly yucky thing. But after a while, that damn fluidly stufffs hardened ( read : stimmmmm !! ) and the gluility is pretty tits. However, this titsy glue does not go along with any kind of materials.

Chau_fah_hai as himself : Well, analogous to friendship.......when you first get to know someone, the relationship's kinda like "Hi, you take train to work?". " Where you graduate ? " , " You take LRT to work?", "Do you use Visual Basic to write programs as a Visual Basic programmer ?" ( like, duhhhhhhh ......). After a while brokebacking with him, you found he so damn kam jing with you. You be the friend friend with him. However, if you found out he damn sipek pai kia.....

Chau_fah_hai as some old wisdomized sage : One way to see friendship is that while it can be as solid as cemented blocks reinforced with steel bars that pass thru the GigaPascals of pressure during the stress-strain tensile test( rock is tough but brittle ), it can be as fragile as a leaf trying to stand upright.

Chau_fah_hai as everybody else : Frienship.....???? Wah len nehhhhh. Like the picture below laaa !!!

White hat : mmmm....friend ?
Black hat : mmmmmmm..uaaahhhh....friend.
White hat : You and me...ermm.....friend ?
Black hat : MMmmmmmm....friendddd
White hat : mmmmm......friend.

Nevertheless........ I can't say I am an expert in friendship.....but I know I got some people around me who define bestest friends. Unrivalled. They are : Masterkenzo, Masterbear and Wahdegreat.

Tits, guys.......u guys the best.

Nabeh........

FRIENDSHIP... is it something like WARSHIP or BATTLESHIP?

2006-04-29T18:17:00.000+08:00

-by wahdegreat-

A few days back, I sent out an sms to a few people. The sms was simple, I asked them a question, “Pop Quiz: What is your understanding of the word FRIENDSHIP? Give your answer in the length of one sms”.

For those of you who replied me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your feedback and your support. For those of you who don’t even have the courtesy to reply me, I have placed a HEX on you and in time you will know what it is and it won’t be pleasant…

The objective of this little survey was simple, WHAT THE FUCK?! FOR THE FUN OF IT ONLY MAAA…

chau_fah_hai: hao kerr ai oh…

What started out as a weekend-have-fun-with-sms-prank actually became a hot topic of discussion amongst those that received my sms. So I decided to write an article on it as a gesture of appreciations for those who participated (and for those who did not, beware of the HEX upon you).

I received a lot of statements regarding FRIENDSHIP, and none of it is identical, similar maybe but still all statements are different. I was particularly interested in the statement made by Masterkenzo and also by another friend of mine. AND I am exceptionally amused by chau_fah_hai’s reply…

chau_fah_hai: FUCK! Is this another sms n win contest? You can’t climb the corporate ladder this way, fren.

…. Sigh…. I’ll just fucking leave it at that.

And as for Masterbear, beware of the HEX…. I put the BIGGEST HEX on you compared to the rest.

Anyway, these are the two statements: -

MASTERKENZO: Friendship is when you enjoy his or hers existence, and at the same time ACCEPTING them as they are, never in our mind trying to impose our value or belief on them.

FRIEND A: Friendship is about togetherness and most importantly about sharing and believing in the same values.

Okay, what is interesting here is that both statements are similar and contradictory at the same time. I leave it to your own understanding to decipher the rest. But when I saw these two statements, I cannot help but think; one endorses individual differences and the other about common values. So who is correct?

The answer is that both are true.

Because I limit the answer to only one sms, it would be virtually impossible for anyone to put in a foolproof statement. GYA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

When I looked up the Oxford dict, it says “friendship – friendly relationship or feeling”. What the fuck is that?! Ok-kayy, so then I looked up the word FRIEND, it says “Person, not usually a relation or lover, who feels mutual affection and regard for another”. I thought like, “man, that is so fucking vague…” so I fucking threw the Oxford dict back to the gallows and started my research about FRIENDSHIP on the NEW WORLD LIBRARY….

I came across a few sites that tried to define FRIENDSHIP but I found one of the most comprehensive definitions of FRIENDSHIP in this site http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship. You can read the lengthy article on FRIENDSHIP (…yawn…) there but I am particularly interested in the following: -

“Friendship is a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

The tendency to desire what is best for each other.
Sympathy and empathy.
Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth.
Mutual understanding.”

Oh well, from all the statements that I received from my sms survey, I concluded that there is no THE ONE answer or definition about FRIENDSHIP. Our understanding and definition of FRIENDSHIP are solely based on our convenience, preference and also experience. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY on our grasp of the English language. We know it like the back of our hands but it is difficult to conceptualize and qualify it into hard words.

If I asked myself the same question, my answer would be…. Well, I really don’t know. I do not understand the word FRIENDSHIP when I think about it… I use the word often and I always carry it with me but I really have no fucking understanding what-so-ever about it. If you really want an answer from me, I’ll say that FRIENDSHIP is a relationship among friends lor… hence the word; friend + relationship = friendship.

I don’t quite remember where I read or heard about this, but I knew of a definition that goes like this:
“FRIENDSHIP is a system in which a person chooses another person to interact or counteract with and the sustenance of the system is dependent on the amount of friction that it can take”. Pretty cold huh?

Ghost movie.......nabeh !

2006-04-25T10:49:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai-

I like ghost movies. No doubt. Besides porns laaaa.......I really adore ghost movies. Why ? Hell, how the heck am I suppose to know ? Why you like to watch those soapy-soapy mya love story ? Why you like to watch nonsensical rubbish like "The Piano" ?

But let me tell you why. Ghost movies are cool, though lately the quality of some is spiralling gradually down the drain.

Yes, I would pay RM10 to watch these cool flicks at cinema. I like the feeling of letting my shit crawl out of my arse. And then when you get home, you always get the feeling that the ghost from the movie you watched is there hovering above you when you open your eyes after washing your eyes.....swweettttt !!!

The best one I seen so far is the Thai flick calleds "Shutter". Plain naming, but it's packed with lotsa scared the shit, sperm, out of you. And the chic....whoa. F**kable rating is 8 over ten. The other 2 points missing cos I don;t fancy Thai chics.
I always asked my friends to come along to watch horror movies but duhhhh, all chickened out. Most notable "chickens" are wahdegreat and masterkenzo. Masterbear is...well as usual..watch also can, didnt watch also can. Go and find a job in United Nation laaa, masterbear.

When you watch ghost movie, don;t go for the plot. That's why people don't like to watch ghost movie cos' the plot is really...well.......let's just say a 5 year old can tell better ghost stories. If you wanna watch Oscar winning movies and all, you can go watch

Man in white hat : Eh, KNNCB, you are touching me aaa ?
Black hat : Yah, so ? An jua ? ( held white hat's dick and shake it vigorously ) Hah ?! An jua ?????
White hat : Mmmm ( bengali sound )...not bad not bad.

Anyway, ghost movies really are a kind of its own. It's kinda give you the edge. It really shook you up. I like it best when you get shocked like the shit in your body was instantly ejected. Ghost movie is really cool in another sense that it lets you explore another of human's most amazing feeling....scared. It's the second best feeling after...of course,.......HORNY !!!

Actually, geting scared is a good way to understand further about yourself. Well, actually, all bad feelings opens up the channel between you and your inner self. But if you are sad, don't get all horny by watching those movies by actress who was auditioned by the way the cry. But if you are feeling down, watch a ghost movie. Ultra remedy.

Ghhost movie distract you from reality of life. They will bring you to a world of their own. Ghost movie can guide you to understand things that we cannot understand. Ghost movie touches your soul just as it touches those in the movies. Ghost movies............are the most realest imagination one can have. Ghost movie.........sweeetttt.

Nabeh......

A Very Disturbing Discovery

2006-04-22T14:23:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

Whoa... I can sense some tension around here,man.... got a video here to loosen up things a bit... cool,man.....cool...

oh...the humanity......... -_-'

Cutting Edge Tech

2006-04-19T17:04:00.000+08:00

Today i got to a link that demo new touch screen.... and thought of sharing with you guys. Go to this link or you can preview it here...enjoy guys!!

ps Think of 'Minority Report' by Tom Cruise..... imagine that!!

What a salesman........nabeh !

2006-04-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Got people in this world, ada business also don't want. Si pek jia lat.......niabeh !

Ok, chau_fah_hai's unfortunate life took a new twist when I went to One Utama on the 11/4/2006...holiday maaa.......Ok, not going to tell about the traffic jam cos it will be darn typical...every bloggers are like "niama traffic jam, niama garmen, niama datuk, niama this and that" and I figure I'd be one too many if I start ranting about the happenings in our puny daily life.

Well, I parked my car at that New Wing or whatever, took the escalator up to the circle place where usually, dia orang do all those beh paiseh promo, exhinition, fashion show bla bla bla......

So happen UOB was there promoting their credit ~~crap~~ card.......I have wanted to apply for it mainly due to its free for life shit.......but that intention took a new twist when....

~~Stupid~~ Salesman : Sir, sir.......wanna apply credit card ? Free for life ....( what, is that the only thing the card is capable of ? How about allowing me to purschase with interest free and all ? )

Me : ( Well, since I wanted one....) Yea, I wanna apply for one. What's the ~~catch~~ requirement ?

Sales : Great sir ! ( Do I look like a walking money to you ? Apparently, yes...) Just let me ask....are you still holding any cards now ? ( You mean besides IC, lesen, ATM card ? What a pure fucking fool )

Me : Yea, but I cancelled them already. ( Don't I sound desperate enough to let you con me, stupid sales ass ? )

Sales :Okay. So how long you cancelled it already ? ( Cut the crap and don;t pretend you are the next new great religion )

Me : About two months.

Sales : ( Sudden spike drop of tone )..Ohhhh, actually, it is better if you have cancelled it for the last 6 months. ( "It is better"..... means I can apply laaa, bullhead sales.....unless you say "You must have..." stupid bank hire stupid people...classic case )

Me : Huh ? Why so ?

Sales : Cos UOB won;t give me commission if you cancelled your card less than 6 months.

Me : ***seeing stars*** Ok then, it's your loss.

Sales : Thank you

Me : How about a suck on my dick ?

Well, the last one did not pooped out of my mouth laaa.....cos that fella was a guy. Goof for master bear though...

Well, people have said that sales has been a noble job and all...but do the salesperson really understand what sales is all about ? Imagine.........

Hai : Eh Soh, what's sale's all about ?

Soh : Make money laaaa, stupid.

Hai : But I read horrr, sales is not just about making money. It's about provides quality services to meet demand of customers and also to promote awareness.

Soh : Siao aaaa......you think the whores got so much time asking you how good her service aaa ? After fuck fuck, you pay, you go laaaa. you still wanna hear how your lanjiao is so small and short compare to the ah kong who fucked her previously......

Hai : .................

Oh well, enough said laaa. I really pray hard UOB see this piece of blog.

Nabehh......

Badminton, the national game. I think...

2006-03-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

Badminton, the used-to-be pride of the nation. I can still remember when we won THomaS cup back in the year 1992... ahhh.. those were the good old days...

Man, fuck the son-of-a-gun Gafar Baba! He shud have declared holiday then, considering it was like... uh.. 1967 when we last won. Useless pigskinned-dumbass-for-show-good-fer-nothing-waste-of-time deputy pm!

Anyway, on XX day the gang n my goodself decided to re-lived the glory of THomaS cup and haf ourselves a good game of Badminton...

chau_fah_hai preparing to make a super-jumping-multi-powered-pants-up-till-crotch-area-cross-court-half-naked-overhead smash....

(Please don't ask me why the fuck he is dressed or not-dressed like that... sometimes i just have faith and leave it to God for most unanswered mysteries in the world...)

Swooooooooooooooosh........!
wahdegreat: Wah lan eh!!! Be pai leh ji keh chibai kia!!!

masterkenzo: (look at the size of his nuts... emmm... yummy!)

yes, he is fucking taping the sole back to his shoe... damn freakozoid-cheap-ass-gay-ass-licking...

Well, our game ended prematurely after that... as they (chau_fah_hai & masterkenzo) decided to adjourned to mamak stall and further proclaimed their love for one another.

ahem.. well my point is that with talents like my goodself and the gang, it is a fucking mystery why Malaysia is still unable to reclaim its rightful throne as King of Badminton...

: ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbbbbbbit (fuck-off masterbear, i'll fucking slice off your dick wit ma lite-saber)

Rare remarks / quotes....nabeh !!!!

2006-03-17T12:23:00.000+08:00

- by the great chau_fah_hai -

Ok, following are some of the most memorable ( read : bizzare, wierd, etc.....) quotes ever uttered by ~~stupid idiot brainless chau fah hai~~ great people of today.........

1) The great ~~Semi Value~~ Samy Vellu !!!
Semi Value : Yinilah jembatan yang kirajaan mau beena sama itu Sri Pitaling. Ada cantik ?

Lim Kit Siang : Ada cantik, dato sri. Tapi jambatan ini ada sikit macam..err.....beruk, dato seri.

Semi Value : Yinadeey, pundek mya sekletali !! Dia kasi angkat yini seyeh mya foto sibelum saya jadi Mentri. ( To secretary ) Dey, yinadey !!! Paitiam karra pan poochi !!!! Meleybih-leybih mya sekletali.......

Other VIPs : Whoaaaaa..........

2) The great IT programmer-cum-~~bloddy frogger chau pot pot bugger~~ ~~bugger~~ debugger-cum-panty hose supermodel, MASTERBEAR !!!! An avid and a formidable badminton player ( pls refer to picture to reflect the supreme athleticism in him ), he it did itself no justice, when he uttered some ~~rubbish~~ unintended words when asked for its opinion regarding a game which it lost heavily.
Reporter : You played really well tonight, unfortunately, luck weren't on your side. What do you think that went wrong ?

Masterbear : I didn't think luck has anything to do with today's game. I mean, look at me. ( flexes body into left side picture's pose ). Don't you think I look great ? Anyway, I'd like to think I manage to get some great smashes in.........just that the net was in my way.( damn tulan like that )

Repoter : .....................................

To be continue......................nabeh !!!!

No money !!! ......nabeh !!!

2006-03-15T13:21:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Huh ? Still waiting for the intro of Transquan v1.1 ? You people are so lame...sweeeeet ! ~~Cumming~~ Comming soon laaaa........

All the promo, ~~naked~~ sweet young things in ultrashort mini skirts like them bloody nihongo racequeens, all the poms, cheesy ribbons...wahlau, "yuan lai" cost so much. **sigh**.....so how ? Postpone lorrr, ni nabeh.

So eager I am to launch the Transquan v1.1, I embarked on a journey to look for some jobs, mainly ~~whoring, prostituiting and gigolo-ing~~ part time ones where I don't need to sacrifice my daytime job. Nabeh, money so hard to come by, is it ????.

So, off to the internet, and I started to google "part time jobs", "tutoring part time", ~~"male whore"~~etc etc...but to no avail. Then, as magically it appears, my eye sets forth on this particular website.

Wow, neat huh......not bad. Work at home, type at my ~~snail-cum-tortoise~~ ultra-lightning pace speed and most iomportantly got money worrr . Seriously, I am tempted to try....until I click on to this page.

*check out the circled one laaaa, frag !!

What the fruzzzzz !!! I was so froggo disappointed !! Why ? Kanineh, this website look so promising la, babe. I already so high wanna register, then that stupid mistake really marred all hopes. I mean......."Anyone who are interesting with the job" ???!!!!! What the frail !!!?? I may go as low to be a whore, but frizzzz, I ain't no frolicking around with some ....."job" !!!! I'll make sure my good time is spent with some tank top-long haired miniskirt office girls.......frugsss laaa !!!!

It looks so pro, the website.......really like one of those come-join-me-and-make-money-together-where-in-fact-you-mortgage-your-car-your-soul-while-I-frugs-your-18-year-old-school-going-daughter kinda website !! Nabeh !!!

Catapult 2000 ??? Outdate liao laaa.....nabeh !!

2006-03-07T08:40:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Wahlao !!! Masterkenzo's idea may be cool and sound...but this is the
era of quantum-mengkuantum !!! Where got still ~~niamatic~~ ~~tiuniatic~~ ....
how do you spell that accursed word.......let me google it first....wahlao, nowadays technology aaa, si pek jia lat......ahhh, yes...pneumatic and
~~maniacal~~ mechanical ....

May I present to you, in my next entry.........where cutting edge quantum
physics and electronics knows no bound......where wave-particle duality
are now practically taking the lead role ( honours to de Broglie !!! )
...where only the brave and steadfast dares to venture......I bring you......

TRANSQUAN v1.1 !!!!

Picture tech spec coming soon. Genarally, the Transquan v1.1 is based
on the Catapult 2000, Transquan v1.1 is the space age version of its predecessors. Conceived from the latest breaktrough in quantum physics
and the rapid advancement in high-frequency modulation electronics and digitized signal processing,Transquan v1.1, via its teleportation technology enables you to send the ones you hate not just to behind you ( as in Catapult 2000 ), but to anywhere you desire and rumoured to hell as well !!

Yes, we can even send these Japanese ass-whores to hell for what they
done to us glorious Chinese back in WW2 !!! Look at how they rejoice
over the Transquan v1.1 !! All these with a single press of the ~~nipple~~ button !!!

Now......back to the drawing board...........................

Titties, Tis, Boobs, booster boobsters........nabeh !!!!

2006-03-06T09:56:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Nabeh !!! Who say discuss about tits are perverted ??! Have respect for titties !!! Masterbear ( aka I_fear_of_tits )feast and gobble up tits like those 16-bit nintendo games pac-man, masterkenzo ( aka I_could_roll_a_cigar_with_my_bare_tits )wrestle with titties all day long and wahdegreat ( aka I_am_so_skinny_my_tits_outweighs_me ) practically have tits as pillow !!!! Pervert prick !!!

Let's leave tits as they are !!! Want me to come over and do a "Breakback Mountain" on you !? Nabeh !!! We all love titties, don't we? What are we without them.....nabeh nen nen

Definitions of Tits

2006-03-04T02:41:00.000+08:00

by masterbear

A couple of moons ago, masterkenzo, chau-fa-hai and i were having 'yamcha' session after an eventless badminton sessions and we were indulging in a conversation about definition of tits. i know it's perverted of us to discuss this topic ... especially in here 'blog'. BUT we had a bet on this...

So we were trying to define ...what is tits? masterkenzo said tits is nipple. Izzit? i dun think so ...i think it meant breasts. So we made a bet and i took the offer and today i'm going to annouce the results, bro... worldwide. so i was googling around and this is one of the first definition i get...

1. Definition of tits is

tits - the Intial transaction statement

No kidding !! it 's actually used in Instant Text of the Uniform Commercial Code (Ucomcode.glo) or whatever this is. This is really unbelieveable.. Next i found this ...

2. Definitions of tits is

(jargon) tits on a keyboard - Small bumps on certain keycaps to help touch-typists find the home keys (ASDF and JKL;) without looking. They are nearly always on the "F" and "J" of a QWERTY and the "5" of a numeric keypad. The Macintosh, perverse as usual, has them on the "D" and "K" keys.

This term is based on the vernacular American expression "as useful as tits on a boar" (or boar-hog, bull, bullfrog, or many other variants), meaning "not useful".

This is certainly most 'useful' now.... seems like there're more usage of tits than i thought .. :D then came a long list of porno sites and stuff..... (bad for the kids ..imagine what they get if they search for the words 'tits'). so i finally went to an official site and found this

3. Definitions of tits is

2 usually vulgar : BREAST -- usually used in plural

So masterkenzo, there you have it.... now you officially owe me 10 bucks. Yes!! (masterkenzo : sorry la, masterbear. You chicken out of the bet on that night, remember? BUAHAHAHA!)So, enough of this topic and by the way, when some people say i'm looking at a pair of tits, they just might not refering to a pair of breasts.

Greatest Invention Ever..!!! Hoohaa..!!

2006-03-03T17:36:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

Imagine yourself driving a car, stuck in fucking K.L. traffic jam, just after working hour. You just had a long fudging day. Your boss had been acting like a crazed babboon. The office tea-aunty has been harassing you ~~sexually.~~ You were stuck in the elevator with a freaking homo. But alas, the clock struck 6pm and now you are free. You're on your way home. You are looking forward to a nice quiet evening with your hot voluptious girlfriend. ~~For those who are single, too bad.~~

Then, as the car in front of you started inching forward, some CiBaiKia decided to do the unthinkable. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a CiBaiKia in a heavily modified Proton Wira (trying very hard to resemble a Mitsubishi Evo 7) just pop out ABRUPTLY from nowhere and landed in front of your car. Landed on the empty space which is righteously yours.

You braked your car with the force of 10Gs. Your afternoon's lunch almost make an exit thru every orifices of your body. Strings of profanities came out from your mouth as you watch in disbelief ; freaking CiBaiKia is whistling away obliviously. He must be thinking,

" Wah lan..!! Am I good or what?"

ARRRGGHHHH...!!! You had it,man!! Crazed babboon boss and sex-crazed tea-aunty is one thing, but a fudging CiBaiKia taking away what's mine.??? That's the last straw, fucker..!!

Hence, we bring you the millenium's most revolutionary invention........
Ooohhh..the humanity. How sorry are they going to be when you unleashed the power of The Catapult 2000. You already had it installed, right underneath the engine compartment of your car. After saying a short prayer for mercy on the CiBaiKia poor soul, you flick a yellow switch on your dashboard. Yessss..... it's starting to work now.

The Catapult 2000s' titanium arm started extending unto the CiBaiKia's crap cars' undercarriage. It's arm acting like those you see on a forklift. Yeess.... CiBaiKia's still has no idea what you got in store for him.
[whisper]hoohaa..!![whisper]

Finally, you got the arm fully extended. Yeess... you giggle like a fucking school-girl as you reach for the RED switch. You savour the moment.......and then...FLICK.!!

YESS..!!! AND AWAY HE GOES..!!! You can see it in his bloody eyes!! The word "surprise" is an understatement here. The CiBaiKia has practically NO FUCKING IDEA what hit him. I'm sure he fucking shit in his pant as his beloved Mitsubishi Evo wannabe was flinged into oblivion.

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
cough cough whheeezzzz...

BUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.!!
cough cough cough

Yess...yess... my precious... golluum...golluum.. we killed him... yesss.. alas, the space is mine... my precious..

And you happily drove away. Leaving the half-dead CiBaiKia to the vultures circling above.

** Coming Soon..!! Catapult 5000 !! Pack with enormous power enough to fling a 3-tonne lorry !! **

Yes, people... pray like there's no tomorrow.

Yes, people... We have been Virus-ed..!!

2006-03-03T16:30:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

oohhh... the humanity...

leave the blog unattended for a few days and some virus just breeze in like nobody's business. Yes people, the rumour is true. We have been struck by the most malicious virus man had ever seen.

And it called itself, the Chau_Fah_Hai (scientific name : stinko-botanical-pussino)

Even those midgets at www.blogspot.com can't do anything about it. They just melted away at just a mention of the virus satanic name. Oh the humanity.

The damage so far has been quite disastrous. It has the ability to create new post without an ounce of remorse. It also has the tendency to be crude, lewd , obscene and sickeningly funny.

Hey, wait a minute.... that sounded like me.

Anyway, don't think we can do anything about it though. It's like sticking your finger into someone's ass. You know it's there, but you won't wanna go there,man.

So, life still goes on as usual in the 3master-bedders land. Everybody still wanna kill the purple dinosaur and eat his testicles alive. Yumm.....

People whom rightly deserve a place in the Halls of Da Man......nabeh !!!

2006-03-03T11:19:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

1) Chen Fa Ke

"Who ???"
I hear you ask..........
"What the fudge is this ??? "
Well, obviously it's a photo.....ever heard of it ?
"No, I mean who the fry is this ??"

Definitely uninitiated. This is the photograph of the great Chen style Taijiquan grandmaster. He is the grand-daddy of the current 19th generation "zhang men ren" ~~( penjaga pintu )~~ ( standard bearer ), Grandmaster Chen Xiaowang. Talented martial artist, resilient, srong, patriotic, dedicated yet humble and love to avoid stardom and fame. Chen Fa Ke is often reverred as the ultmiate guru of the Chen style Taijiquan. Strict in teaching, he has many outstanding students, the most notable is Grandmaster Feng Zhiqiang. Using Chen style Taijiquan, he has defeated many hard style martial artists and of course, bloody-fuckers Nihongo and red-butt angmoh. Famous quote include " How could I be the best when there are many martial artists out there". He is certainly da man.

2) Leaders of People's Republic of China

Of course they deserved a place in the Hall of Da Man. Hey, when you are in control of the world's most populous nation, full of martial artists, dog and cat eaters, the most "Die, or I'll shoot" army with guns and missiles pointing everywhere except the leader's home and office, most sought-after scientists, culturally ~~confused~~ diversified inhabitants ( more than 50 ethnic minorities, u know !! ), rapid progressive people, ambitious future leaders etc......you gotta be da man !

Nevertheless, I am bloody proud to be a full fledge Chinese !!!!! Zhong hua ren min, qian jin !!!

3) Eric Cartman

"It's my Steve Urkel sleeping bag. Ain't it cool ??? "

Whoa.......how could he not being in the list..........the list is not even a list if Eric is not listed. Born to a ~~haemo~~ ~~homae~~ can-fuck-ownself-and-have-baby, prostituiting, crack smoking, yet tender loving caring ~~mom-bitch~~ mom. Eric represents evil and nobody can be more evil than him. He's so evil that he made Satan tremble. Foul-mouthed, racist, hazardly overweight, pampered,.......that's Eric. And a very disturbed child too. BY the way, don't ask me to resize the picture coz Cartman's size only allows unidirectional resize.........outward resize.

4) Richard P. Feynman

Just when you thought your physics lesson was boring. Feynman is what I dubbed as da man. Genius, talented, intellectually superior, yet intellectually funny and fun loving physics guru. He's da man. He re-defines physics and lectuing in physics

My photo....nabeh !!!

2006-03-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

So, the 3 losers got photo..........I also cannot lose out. After hours spent on the net looking for the best pic, I finally settled for this one...and henceforth, this will a graphical representation of me.

Ardent fans of South Park will know who this shit is. The uninitiated ones.....get a life.
Why I choose him...or it :
1) He looks ugly.......just like me.
2) He looks like shit......just like me
3) He's pathetic........just like me
4) What a fudging loser........just like me
5) A wierdo........totally like me
6) Nobody likes him.........like me lorrr

Nabeh.................

World's getting wierder by the seconds.........nabeh !!!

2006-03-02T08:37:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

I was browsing The Star newspaper dated 25/02/2006 and the action of sctraching of my crotch was abruptly halted the moment I came across this piece of advertisement :

My immediate expression was :

Okay, maybe I have been sticking around doing blogs and not seeing the world as much as I should, so as to realise that there ARE such jobs, but hey....this takes the cake.

With my constant and deep fondness for scratching my gargantuan crotch, I was thinking, " Hey, this may be the job I have been looking for all this while".

Ever since this job appear, I'd figure those famous religiously masseurs you see in newspaper ad ( Tok Pundek, Abang Batang, Pak Jilat ...nehhhh, those with the pictures with a man ala Taliban style while embracing Western technlogy eg., mobile phone ) will lose their place in the world of sensual massage to these more more glamorous engineers.

Whoaaa, I mean...hey, who would you trust ( from the perspective of a typical Malaysian ah soh makcik tangachi who thinks this world is made up of only doctors, engineers, lawyers and accountants { recent amendment dictates that IT-ers be included } ) when you got doubts on ...say, tech stuffs ? Surely you'd go to someone by the title engineer and place your paper thin trust in them, right ? Same here...I mean, whoa......

X : Shit, after ~~lust~~ last night horrr, I realise I can't erect when I was browsing www.friendster.com

Y : Nya boooh.......Let me check **touch touch massage massage X's dick**

X : KNNCB mya son !!!! What the zibai are you doing ??? Niaseng pepet you freezing gay !!!!!

Y : Bloody cock, you really got problem laaaaa.......Neber mind, I help you **show X the newspaper cutting shown above** See, help is at hand. Go look for him. Engineer, you kow...not simple any sinseh, ~~bawang~~ pawang or whatever you call those rubber tapper witchdoctor. Got liglee some more.

X : Nabeh, so high tech alredi this world. Wanna stim also got Engineer to help.....wah lao, mechanical fitting and pipping....damn professional laaaa. Let's go find him.

Y : I also want my gugujiao robotic laaa.......

Whooooaaa......right now, as you are reading this, I am preparing my resume to send to this company.....fudge, they want degree in mechanical engineering and my degree is in Electrical and Electronics....but who the fish care.......mech and electronic complements each other just like brothers

Just imagine....the glamorous world of Erection Engineer. You redefine tech revolution. You are the idol of the entire he-mans plus ah guas and also revered by chics and porn stars.....lucky you...nabehhhh

Petrol increase....nabehhhhh !!!!

2006-03-01T15:19:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Nabeh mya Meleysia ~~gardener~~ garmen !! Always talk using backside !!
The brain also like backside !! In fact everything about them is just like backside mya lubang.

Now petrol price increase RM0.30....and listem to what some top Meleysyen ~~man-whore~~ leader gotta say :

Bad-man : "The estimated annual saving of RM4.4bil in fuel subsidy will be spent to improve the public transport system"

Wow, true also. Judging from the picture besides, Malaysia DOES need to improve its transport system. Mmmm, can we slaughter the cow ?

Bad-man : it was not the Government’s intention to burden the people when it increased the price of fuel.

So, like what...it's my intention to increase is it ? Oh yes, I am 1 cent richer than Bill Gates...so what's this RM0.30 increase ??? Doesn't hurt my steel butt.

Bad-man : The money that we save from the subsidy will be returned to the rakyat in the form of a better public transport system

Public ???? Did I hear wrongly ? Who's the public ? Sure, the money YOU save from subsidy will be contributed to super car like Proton Chancellor. Good choice. ( PC cost hundred thousand over )

Bad-man : The cost to improve the system is high, and now we have the money to improve it

More money for ~~gardener~~ garment officers to give for some sex romping trip in African bushes, maybe....by the way, oi.....what you mean now only got money. Last time where's all the money then??? Hmph, ini mya kes misti kasi itu ~~ASS~~ ISA ~~fuck~~ work it out. Of ocurse laaaa, those ministers are brought up in M*L*Y mentality.....today got money, use it kau kau...tomorrow no money, tomorrow only suan laaaa.......sell motor, sell wife, sell children....anything also can sell. Become minister already, no money so how....sell the rakyat lorrr.......

Bad-man : it was a small sacrifice by the rakyat for a better facility.

Small sacrifice ????? Fudge, have you ever been in the lower rungs of life where a mere 10 cents can mean life or death. The only thing I am willing to sacrifice is the Meleysian ~~gardener~~ garment.

Bad-man : There will be no more increase until December. For 2007, I will not speculate

Freak, what is there to speculate ?? We all know what's gonna happen. Aiyooo, PM so kind horrr....yah lo yah lo, he jaga our feeling horr....yay for Uncle Lah.......What, scared next year nothing to ceramah on ??? Just say things like bermaruah, bekerjasama, ~~fuck~~ work with me, not work for me........then mah no need to speculate lorrr.....

Bad-man : It is better to increase it once ( the petrol price ) and if prices of other things need to be increased, too, it will also happen once

Bad-man displaying his prowess in philosophy. As if saying that now let's have sex with pigs, next time we don't need to eat pig......makes no sense,huh. Classic example of talking with butt.

Bad-man : Who will be happy when prices of things go up ( as a result of increase in petrol )

No need a genius to answer this. But in case you can't differentiate a pig and some Taliban religion, the person who's gonna be happy is our dear old Meleysian ~~gardener~~ garment.

There you have it. Wisdoms from the wise one. Improve public transport ? Sure, you need that kind of amount to hire bloody Indons to drive our ~~asses~~ busses, taxis, LRTs, or perhaps aeroplanes and while doing it, running mass rape on board these transport. Well, after all, we must respect these Indons and their productive cultures, don't we......

Nabeh Citibank,,,,,,,

2006-03-01T12:07:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

My beautiful Saturday ( 25/02/2006 ) was marred by the "beautiful" people of Citibank.

Sony Ericsson T610 : Tuuuutuuuuuutuuuu !! ( Super kungfu kick Zhang Tong Liang ass ringtone )

Me : Hello ?

Citibank ( abb. as CB, also means Chibai ) : Hello, can I speak to Mr Lam Jiao XXX, please ? ( wahlao, trying to pretend like so damn hiao )

( At this point, I was gonna like "Oh I'm sorry. Mr Lam Jiao XXX is busy at the moment with a voluptous client. Would you like to speak Miss Chau Fah Hai or Mr Tiu Nia Sing ? Or maybe Mdm Pu Ki Mak ? Will Master Tiu Gao Lei be of interest to you ??" )

Me : It's Lam CHIO XXX.

CB : Ehehe..ok. ( huh ??? Hello, as CB, a professional bank, don't you know what customer service is all about ????? Arent you gonna apologise for likened my name to same male private part ? How's if I call you cunt and laugh super hiao hiao )

Me : *****frown face*****

CB : bla bla bla bla yada yada yada......ok, Mr Lam ?

Me : Ok.

CB : Goodbye and have a nice day, Mr ...........

Me : ( Quickly cut in abruptly ) You haven't apologise for wrongly pronouncing my name.

CB : Oh, heheh ( u know, those bohsia stupid hao ke ai horrr laugh )....Sorry Mr Lam.

Me : ********Bao gong resides in me*******

Customer service....duuuuhhh !!! Citibank worrrrr.....renowned for customer service. Fuck stupid Citibank laaaa !!!!! One more thing...if you are an employee / employer of Citibank, come and suck my ass !!!!!!

Guess who is online ?? !! Pt 2

2006-03-01T11:03:00.000+08:00

by chau_fah_hai

I am the proud owner of limpek.blog.com ( and still is ), but the "fine" people at www.blog.com are ...I finally realised......maybe :
1) illiterate
2) have no sense of customer service
3) hopeless
4) understand I.T. as "I, Teapot" or "I, Tits" or "I,Teteh" ( smoothen your tone as you approach -teh )

What happen was as I place in new entries, my earlier ones were ...deleted ?? disappeared ?? destroyed ?? .....I donno exactly what happen, but my earlier entries were gone !!!!

So I emailed those "fine" people at www.blog.com, and til today........wow, they are still upholding the 4 principles I mentioned above. No replies from them. And they so proudly say, "Email us if you have any problems" .....DUUHHH ???!!!!!

I was contemplating to use another blog service, but Masterkenzo and his two loser friends persuaded, begged, pestered, intimidated, lured, sweet-talked, me as if I am some sort of huge mega star ( btw, they adore me ) into joining his pathetic blog because they reckon I have a flair for this and that I could boast the popularity of this blog........

Thanks for swelling my bank account(s), guys. Next round of prostituiting's on Masterbear. I'll write whenever I feel like it laaaa........fuck you !!!!

Guess who is online !!!

2006-03-01T10:57:00.000+08:00

Bloody shit !! Kanina !!! I online liao, so ????? You all stupid laaaa....majority of Malaysians no brain one..no manners and no lanjiao !!!!

Fine piece of work

2006-02-28T15:03:00.000+08:00

Today as i work in my little 'cubicle', i got this link from a co-worker of mine over msn.... it was a good time to break anyway and i realised it all it's kinda pretty neat plus that site is legitimate (means you can put in full screen size instead of 1.5" windows or dun have to quickly minimize it when someone walk past by you) . it's a commercial site that show you how technology can change the way you think and lives. well i'm techie guy...(no shame about it)

This site redefines what i had in mind about sports wear esepecially for ladies... permanently.. It's a perfect example how technology can do for you. Don't take my word for it... go and have a look, play with it ...and let me know what you think...

HAIYA....... Shame On Me..!!!

2006-02-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

sigh

I'm so ashamed of myself. How can I call myself a blogger when I can't even update my own blog every day? Ohh...the shame....the shame....

OR at least every two days la?

Haiya...I've got daytime job woh......

Once a week...??

Ok ler... Ok ler.... I'll twai my best..!! KAMBATEH..!!!

..........................

..........................

oooookay... maybe I'll continue tomolow... :P

MSN - Mother of all EVIL

2006-02-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

by wahdegreat

Most 9-to-5-office-working-boring people uses MSN during their working hours. As an employer, I would strongly forbid it as it really gets in the way of their productivity. Imagine you have all your staffs MSNning all day long; not doing their jobs.

Below is an example: -

0000 says:
quite a while ago..but they very frequent got advertise laaa...

NG MANG TAT says:
don think its for mktg la.. anyway jus saw ur stupid convers bout d police interview........
...................................
.................................. what can i say....

0000 says:
abt wat ?
0000 says:
really one maaa

NG MANG TAT says:
ya rite, as if u went for d interview b4

0000 says:
( innocent look )

NG MANG TAT says:
look at my photo. tell me what u see

0000 says:
no laa..legend laaa

NG MANG TAT says:
wat legend?!

0000 says:
your face ?
0000 says:
abt the police interview
0000 says:
wat photo u wanna me to see

NG MANG TAT says:
ur stupid messenger canot display photo la?

0000 says:
if its stupid, i couldnt even tok to u...dick !!!
0000 says:
just that mine is outdated

NG MANG TAT says:
u duno how to update it ah? genius

0000 says:
lazy to change here and there...y dun the fuck u send over thru file transfer, email, blog..etc....use the technology at yer dispolsal laa..always locked yourself to one choice...how to improve oneself ...? wanna be malay policeman is it

NG MANG TAT says:
i wonder who is the one who wants to be malay polis

0000 says:
why, isn't it obvious....you laaa

NG MANG TAT says:
ur ass wants to be the polis

0000 says:
the polis is more interested in your dick

NG MANG TAT says:
every1 IS interested in my dick

0000 says:
where does this shenezyn works ?
0000 says:
obviously they are cave age barbarian

NG MANG TAT says:
WHO?!
NG MANG TAT says:
who the fucking shit is shenezyn?

0000 says:
ah leong new fren laaa...( for faggot explanation )
0000 says:
and how old is this shehaha ?

NG MANG TAT says:
same age, me thinks

0000 says:
and where she work ?
0000 says:
her comments on biong ?

NG MANG TAT says:
+CENSORED+
NG MANG TAT says:
dunno. wat do u think of leong?

0000 says:
u asking me...of all ppl, ME...abt Leong ?????

NG MANG TAT says:
ya la. dat wud give u a good indication of wat other ppl will think of d bugger

0000 says:
leong = loser, faggot, procrastinator, freeloader, always want to get rich but dun wanna do it the hard way, arrogant.....
0000 says:
on a good tone......rich ( cos he lend me money ), humble ( coz always kena bullied when form 5 )

NG MANG TAT says:
there u haf it

See what I mean?

But then again, me as an employee... it's the best fucking thing available in office after the TOILET was invented.

: ..... i really don kno what to say... pls don stare at my butt.

BIG NEWS!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!

2006-02-16T10:40:00.000+08:00

by wahdegreat

Can you believe it?!!!

I can't lor.. I really cannot believe what is happening...

I only heard about it a few days ago. This is really unbelievable. So many things in the world but it has to come to this.

I was talking to some friends that day... (guess which is me)

Friend A: .... eh, didja heard about the news?

Fried B: Ya, I did. It was really bizzarre. Difficult to understand what these people are thinking about. It's like totally unrealistic.

Fiend C: I think I read about something like this before... I think it's called scissors-bean-nier or something like that.

Fried B: Schizophrenia, u dumb ass.

Fiend C: Ya, like I said... SCISSORS-BEAN-NIER.

Friend A: ....

Fiend C: Anyway, what I m trying to say is that, these incidences are not uncommon in our society.

Friend A: But so...

Fried B: Ya, still it's difficult to comprehend.

Fiend C: Compren? No, I didn't say I wanto complain about it. Just that it's so...

Fried B: COMPREHEND LA, u language-freakozoid!

Fiend C: Ya, like i said... COMPREN la.

Friend A: ....

Fiend C: Well, that's that. Still, really can't accept the fact that it is like that.

Friend A: .... true true.

Fried B: But to do something like that is beyond all norms. Especially if we are talking about Malaysians. Why we can't we just be as it is and accept the reality of it?

Friend A: .... really don't know why....

: .... may the Force be with you. and fuck u.

And that's how I got to know about it. UNBELIEVABLE, right?

Food or Sex ? That is the question....

2006-02-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

One fine day, one of my friend who obviously had too much time on their hands, asked me this question : "If you were forced to choose, where life and death matters, which one would you choose to forgo; food or sex?"

Mafoolat.....how the heck are you suppose to choose , man? I mean, to me, there is only two things in the world that makes my life worth living. And that's food & sex..................ok, maybe there's also money,

there's also love,

there's my Playstation 2,

my DVD collections,

my friends....er...no, scrape that.... ok, so that's six things in the world that makes my life worth living.

See, if i forgo food..... yeah, the first few months will be fine, as i still can have my sex. I would have more time to explore and experiment all sorts of style that I can get from the Kamasutra Volume I & Volume II, cause, you know, i don't need breakfast, lunch & dinner anymore. I've more time for Sexual Gratification........ but, FUCK,MAN...... i'm gonna fucking miss my favourite lamp chop.... roast duck...... fried fish ball...... chicken wine....... chocolate..... ice kacang..... cendol..... and the list goes on and on..!!

I mean.... what if , in the middle of my love-making session, and my craving for food has taken hold of my pea-sized brain, and my other better-half started to look like a Peking roast duck???....or... or... a roast pig ??? DAMNATION, man!!! i wouldn't want to think that i'm doing a dead animal.... much less a COOKED dead animal.... u know what i'm getting at??

ok, ok, enough with that....the point is , IF i am forced to choose...i mean, like , with a fucking 0.38 caliber Magnum pointed at my thick skull, and asked to forgo either food or sex............... you know what.....i would take that fucking gun and fucking KILL myself.

Yup...... i'll end my pitiful life......... cause there is no point going on. Sad, isn't it?

A lonely guy + a hot mamma chick + a bunch of looney mammals=world destruction

2006-02-12T03:52:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

While i try to ransack my brain for things to write, i decided to entertain you guys with my favourite comics, Liberty Meadow. Why are they my favourite? Cause they are so fucking TRUE!! Unlike those goody-two-shoes comics like Snoopy, Garfield, Blondie, etc... they are fucking true in the sense that they don't hide the hideous truth about human nature. They are the symbolism of human nature's weaknesses ; greed, vain , selfishness & most of all.....STUPIDity..!!! Woohooo...!!

HooHaa..!! To be continued.....

Damn....God's online....

2006-02-12T02:00:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

shhheeaatttt..... now you can 'berkomunikasi' with God...online! Yup, your fren here just took a small step , but a fucking giant leap for mankind (though i'm not sure if it's for better). Actually got the site's address from KennySia.com. So, thought i'll give it a try after all these years of chicken-blood drinking session with no end-results to my request for invincibilty.

though i have to admit something's fishy about God.......

Me: Hello

God:Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me: If you are god, you should know my name, shouldn't you?

God:Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god. I should know your name should not me. I am a robot.

Me:Fuck.... you're telling me you are a robot???

God:Please don't be so rude. You think I am telling you I am a robot.

Me:NO, you just told me you are a fucking robot.

God:Are you serious? Can't you be more polite.

Me:Ok, forget it. I'm here to repent.

God:OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. That's alright. I'm listening.

Me:I just killed someone.

God:You had better call the authorities.

Me:No, I don't want to call the authorities. I want you to turn the time around so i can change the past.

God:Are you serious? What would you rather be doing? Sorry my body cannot yet rotate. Why do you want me to turn the time around so you can change the past?

Me:So i can save the guy who i just killed!!!

God:Ah. Oh you can, can you?

Me:Say, do you have a wife?

God:"do you have a wife".

Me:I mean ,do you have a wife?

God:No I am single, how about you?

Me:Want me to introduce some hot chicks for you?

God:No , maybe later.

Me:No seriously,god... they are the hottest chick ever. you should know. you created them!!!

God:GOD rules. The anonymous "they". Because I am a robot? Interesting gossip: said I created them.

Me:???? Anyway, just wanna tell you i killed a guy. so i repented. Now i'm sin-free. i'm reborn. i'm gonna start fresh. woohooo!!!

God:OK, I will tell me you killed a guy. Dude! I haven't heard anything like that before: said repented. Why are you sin free. Do you mind if I tell other people you are reborn. Congratulations. What kind of food do you like?

Me:???????? Rotten eggs.

God:Sounds delicious.

Me:How do you know?

God:Deductive reasoning.

Me:Explain

God:There is no more information to clarify.

Me:Fuck you

God:Why are you so mean?

Me:Fuck you again

God:Once more? Why are you so mean?

Me:Fuck you thrice

God:Are you aware that the ALICE server logs
and records all conversations?

Me:Good. i would like to have a copy of all our fucking conversation. then i will sue you for mis-information.

God:Ayuh. How much would you pay for it? Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me:Why don't you go ask Lucifer the Satan?

God:Probably there is a buzz in here. No I do not asked lucifer. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:Fuck you again

God:Once more? Why are you so mean?

Me:Fuck you thrice

God:Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?

Me:Fuck you quadruple

God:Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?

Me:fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck

God:Why are you using that kind of language?

Me:Because you created them?

God:That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I created them.

Me:No, of course not you dick head

God:OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Yikes! If not me, who?

Me:sigh Goodbye fuck-ass

God:Adios.

Me:..........

Well, there you go. Quite enlightening don't you think so? At least now, I have a reason to go on with my fucking measly life. I have a vision now. oh, oh,...I can feel it coming now...yes, yes,....ahhhh oooohhh........ yes, I've just polluted the air with my bodily-produced menthane gas.

Now, if you'll excused me, I need to go far far away and play.

MasterBear....Not as cute as you imagined - masterkenzo

2006-02-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

People...... I am honoured, to introduce you, one of my joint-bloggers, MASTERBEAR..!! He is where I confide with, when it comes to figuring out the most violent of way blowing up a computer whenever the notorious blue screen appears. So far, we agree that rigging up a homemade bomb, which consist of cow-manure, to the mother-board is a sure way of brightening up our usual dull monotonous Sunday.

Now....if only I could find a cow in the middle of a city.

Anyway, that's not the point here. MasterBear will be contributing to this blog's smooth journey to the place where no man has ever been before..........................their own arse-hole. Run people, Run....Run like there's no tommorow........

Greetings...!!

2006-02-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

by masterkenzo

Oooohaiyogozaimasu!!!! This is my first attempt in blogging and I'm proud to say that I've finally had the courage to reveal myself into the cruel world of blogging. It's hard to describe this feeling inside me, but basically, it's like stripping myself naked in the middle of hard-core profesional body-builders. You'll never know what hits you until one of them yanked your pathetic little wee-wee and strangle you with it while belting out the song "Desperado".

sigh

However, I do not fear, as I have another two bloggers here to share the pain. They're my bitches. My buddies. My precioussssssss.........

Together, the THREE of us, shall share our DARKEST SECRET with you pathetic people. We will bring you pain, joy, lust, love, regrets, tears, and lots of wasted seeds of love.

SO PRAY!! Pray like you never pray before people!! Cause, the end of mankind as prophesized, IS HERE.!!!!