omg.....what wrath hath we brought upon mankind?!

Road Pests – A HEX on you…

2007-08-07T13:49:00.000+08:00

BEWARE!!

For many donkey years, Malaysian roads have been infested by pests that could easily dethrone cockroaches as the King of Pests. These low-lives are multiplying by the seconds and science has yet discovered their origins and how they come about to plague the world. What is for certain is that they are here to stay and they are growing more menacing by the minute.

I just had an experience this morning with these road-pests cum sons-of-asses. Minding my own business while I was driving, casually putting on the turn-right signal moving to the right lane, when I noticed one of these road barbarians on two-wheelers careening beside all the cars from far. Noticing that this dumbass-brainless-shit-goat-for-a-father moron was still far away, I slowly maneuvered my car to the right lane.

And guess what? This asshole-shit-for-a-brain-Goddamned-scum-of-society continued to speed forward. Had I not stopped he would have rammed directly into the side of my car, flying meters into the air before crashing onto ground spilling what’s left in that nutshell-head of his onto the road. OHHH HOW I hoped I had not stopped. I would have done the world a favor by reducing the number of idiots in this world. But I did one of the stupidest things; I stopped, allowing him to pass. And what do I get in return? The motherless fool stopped and yanked a fucking dent in my car!

Could you imagine that?! Could you even possibly imagine that?! Had I not restrained myself, I would have jammed on the accelerator and grinded him down on the spot. But ALAS, I did not! And he sped off.

May all who read this blog bear witness to this forbidden HEX that I am about to put on the driver of motorcycle plate number WNG 9583….

“By the elements of nature and all living entities, may thou hear thy summon…
Let he who crossed me, Malay male aged around 27 years, riding a cub number WNG 9583 be at your mercy…
Let his rectum be closed and urethra be clogged,
Let he not sleep and yet not awake,
Let he be terminated from employment and his bank account frozen,
Let he cry help but get none in return,
Let him loved but get no such sweet returns,
Let him eat but forever be hungry,
Let him question but get no answer…
May his soul be forever at war... never at peace.
Let he end his life but to no avail,
Till the days of last shall he live with his treachery
And may this HEX be upon him until the day he repent his doings…”

……

Anyway after that, I made a police report but nothing much the police can do about these shit-for-brain people. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t exercise your legal rights.

FUCK the asshole that made fun of the NEGARAKU

2007-07-31T12:34:00.000+08:00

Need i say more?

FUCK U! Traitor.

I personally do not find making fun of your own country's national anthem something amusing. Heck, well what was badly sung has its truth but undoubtedly making fun of your own birth country is downright treason and idiotic: like saying

"hey, my mom's a prostitute, she loves my cripple brother more than she loves me,
Though she clothed me, feed me, and nurture me, she's still a prostitute... bcoz she's unfair"

It's even worse IF you sing about another country, what right do you have?

Nobody / Nothing is perfect, and no country for that matter. If you fucking feel that you are being mistreated, then move to another country!

MALAYSIA is not a great country, I'll give you that. MAJOR sucked at FOOTBALL, you should see what WIKIPEDIA says about Malaysian Football. Fucking government double-standard, stupid Penang food (Ipoh food's the best, but NOOOOO, Penang oo ho chiak eh har mee), ungrateful maggots all-around, bla bla bla... etc... etc..

Though so, a not-so-old Chinese saying "比上不足，比下有餘". If you are not proud of your country, what CAN you be proud of? A by-product of dung, that's wat u r, yeah u.

And I fucking despised all the-rest-of-balance-shitholes that find this despicable act funny. Yeah, u. Don't pretend you don't know who I am talking about.

May GOD (and ISA) have mercy on you.

To all Sri Sentosa Kuchai Lama especially class of '95.........Niaseng !

2007-04-20T18:09:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai-

From me to you ex-Sri Sentosas students of 1995. Have a happy fucking day !!

You all let dog rape !!!

Check my type out....

2007-04-20T17:14:00.000+08:00

Today i was given a site and do some test...and here's my results...

Amazing i have no idea i'm 'that rare' type... so what's your type?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Crap country ruled by craps.......tiuniaseng !!!!

2007-04-20T10:13:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

So, wahdegreat is back. Yay.

Kenzo's b'day. Oh, whopee.

Ok. Enough with all the shitty ceremonious (mimicking stupid Yang Cheng Lin's and other Friendster assholes's squeaky voice ) "Oh, Happy Birthday ge !! Eat alredi de ! Why didnt come geh !!" cutey(NOT !) shits. By the way, what's with all these "geh","de" and "ge" ???? The young Malaysian Chinese are really craps nowadays. They are so fucking damn worried if they forgot to wish or nvr being wished Happy Birthday or to be added into their friend's Friendster or forgot to add their friend into their friendster shit. Bloody shit, they should be worrying about stuffs like ...what if Eistein hadn't abandon his infamous cosmological constant ? Or what if Planck changed his mind about his blackbody radiation shit ? What if Huang Di were never born ? That would be a damn right catastrophe cos there won'tbe any Chinese at all !!!! There are so many things that's worth our time and effort to worry and yet, these ah lians worried about how they can creatively use words like "Hao ke ai horr" and sentences ending with "de","dy","ge",geh" so that they can be outstanding among their "hao ker ai" peers

Ah lian in orange : Ni jue de wo ker ai ma ? ( You fucking think I am fucking cute or not? )

Front row ah lians : Ni hao ke ai oooo ! Ta ye hao ke ai de ! ( You fucking cute oooooo ! She ( red shirt girl ) also fucking cute 'de' !)

Middle row ah lians : Ee, wei she ni men na mo ke ai ge ? ( Ee, why you all so fucking cute 'ge'? )

Fat ah lian in the middle : Wo jue de wo zhen de hao ker ai geh ! ( I fucking think I am fucking cute 'geh' )

Oh, the humanity !!! Oh, saviour, hear me now ! Bestow upon me your blessed curse and courage so I may withstand such atrocities ! Saviour, do not forsake me in this fight against evil !

Lo and behold, my prayers were answered in the elegant shape below with the almighty powerful

weapon to counter such inhumane atrocities :

Saviour : Oh, girls. Look what I got ya !

Oh yea !!! Give it to us ! I am soooo excited ! Lift me higher, bitches !!! I need to grab Saviour's weapon !

Another Ah lian : Oooo !!! Very the ker ai de geh ! I'm so the high de !!

Yea, fuck you friendster biatches !!

Anyway, this wasn't my intended article, but I felt it's worth mentioning though. My actual intention is now subsequenting.

Yes, what a great bi-weeks we have recently. ANd so juicy too, cos two by-elections had and going to take place. The ~~Machatt~~ Machap and the Ijok one.

Just a quick run down on these two constituents. I bloody never heard before of these two kampungs until recently, thanks to heavy publicity by local dailies here. Brought a great buzz to the ~~town~~ kampungs though. Well, Machap went into this frenzy by-election because its MP Poh Ah Tiam ( for those in the know, I deliberately omit his title plainly because I hate M'sian gorment ) passed away. And hence, the showdown between BN_MCA and DAP. We all know the outcome. No, I'm not talking about BN winning that confounded election. I'm talking about how the election proved people from Machap are practically, deaf, dumb and mute.

Now, fast forward to Ijok. Same thing laaa, someone die and then what else, by election lorrr. This time, at time of production of this article, it's BN-MIC vs Parti Keadilan Rakyat. Like Machap, I'm sure Ijok is also made up of deaf, dumb and mute. Not forgetting stupid. That goes to Machap people also. And I really mean it. And I don't fucking regret for what I say.

Anyway, my main objective here is to highlight the events that accompanies the election. Take a look at the pictures below.

The annual hunt for bottled Carlsberg to be consumed in kopitiam later got off to a great start.

"WOooooo ! Woooooo !! Wooooooooo !"

So, what's so special above the picture ? Police catching stupid fucking Indon immigrants ? Some sort of demos ? Well, I'm sure you can conjure up anything that has relation to crime and violence.

This is a scene from the by-election thing. What the fuck ?!

I have always thought election is democracy's peacful and loving way of showing people's power. But it seems otherwise, as shown in the two pix.

The MPs, Datuks, of respective camps, I thought, should present a gentlemen conduct during elction and nomination day and conduct they way they should be conducting, that is, in a manner that the rakyat can respect. But as we, the always-know-way-ahead of government, knows, the election was marred by incidents as above.

Adults seemingly representing us, the rakyat, brawling around like fucking schoolchildren. Have they got no shame ? Guess not cos as soon as you enter politics, you have just sold your soul to the almighty Satan. You have no shame, no pride, no dmoral, no dignity.

Look at other western democracy country. Both parties shake hand and greet each other. DO you see them brawling like headless chicky ?

Just imagine, these are the people who works for the parties. And if they look are fucking gangsters, guess who is their kepala.

How to live in Malaysia anymore !?

Shame on you, Malaysian government ! Shame on you Barisan Nasional !! Fuck you Samy Vellu !

To UMNO, MCA and MIC.....tiuniaseng chau chibek !!!!!

Happy Birthday MasterKenzo!!!!

2007-04-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday MasterKenzo!!!!

That's it.... Here's a birthday song for u....

wo hui lai le

2007-04-10T19:42:00.000+08:00

I AM BACK!!! YOOOOO HOOOO!!!

Hello?! err... anybody... er.. home?

Where the fuck is everyone?

Man, I can't believe I left town for a while and everybody stop blogging... I am touched, I really am.. I knew you guys can't live without me but this.. this is just so so sob sob sob touching...

It's like going away and the whole world misses you... damn! I didn't know I have that kind of effect on people...

What?! I beg your pardon. Oh... that, where have I been? Well, working working working, traveling traveling... China, Taiwan, Melaka, Penang, Kuching, Puchong, Seri Petaling, Kajang, you know, the works.. just to name a few. It's funny how traveling opens one's eyes...... especially if you bring along your LUMIX 10.2 megapixel with 12X Optical Zoom upto 16X Digital Zoom!! WOO-HOOOOOO!!!

Well, China was work, though I DID get some after-work action (If yer know wat ah mean... ). Taiwan waaaaaaas cool coz it ain't work. And I don mean the weather. Didn't get much action in Taiwan.. but I did catch these two fellas getting some at the airport...

Well, they WERE doing it in public.. airport some more.. what a great way to show tourist that Taipei is only cool in the weather but warmmmmmmmmmmm everywhere else...

Anyhow, it's great to be back.. China and Taiwan is a great place to visit, but staying there.. I wouldn't consider.

Trust me, you don wana be living in a country where...

... people use dustbins as a head ornaments while playing flute and giant chickens walking around.

Are you annoying ??....tiuniasing !!!

2006-11-07T18:57:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

The following is not an exhaustive list of people who are deemed not even worth devil's time to mutilate......

1) People who speak out loud on the phone in places where you are morally suppose to keep your bloody voice down. Even if you need to speak, speak softly. I came across an incident where a guy was yacking away without an utter consideration that there might be some sane people who are trying to get some sleep in a bus. The conversation is ...well....bloody typical. You know, like "Dear, can you hear me...I can hear you ".......what the chibai ??!!!! This is nothing.......the worst is this. That guy was telling the person on the phone ( presumably a girl, otherwise.........) that he was in some place and acted as though like he has been in Ethiopia for the rest of his fucking life. It goes something like this :
Guy : Dear, ni zhi dao wo men chi shi mo ma ? Wo men chi "kai lan" chau "kai lan" aaa !!!! Zhi hau xiao !!!! ( trans : Dear, do you know what we eat ? We eat "kai lan" fry " kai lan" aaa !!! Damn funny ) By the way, this guy looks like an Ah Beng, so you get the effect of his expression.
My point is, why must you people be such an ass !!?? Didn't it come across your mind to RESPECT others !!!???

2) People who swerve or overtake you WITHOUT signalling when driving. I can forgive you if you are disable and reaching the signal stick seems like swiming to the moon, but pretending to be one is so physical retard of you !!! Please laaaa, the signal stick is made for you to TELL people you are turning, even if it's just a slight swerve. You must be a fucking retard if you can't even do that. Or maybe you use that stick to satisfy your sexual predatopry instinct ??!!!! What is wrong with you people ??? COnvenient ????? Fuck you !!! Go crash your car and you are a real convenient to law-abiding road-users.

3) Fast drivers are also another piece of shit. If you met an accident one day, I will really stop by to help by guffawing at you.

4) Commentators in cinema are another group of people deserved to be raped by the "EXIT" signage. Why the fuck you must talk and yack while watching a movie !!!??? "Oi, I pay the ticket, I got the right to do so !!!" Yea, but dude, I ALSO PAY THE TICKET AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STRIP YOU AND FUCK YOU TO KINGDOM COME IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT FUCKING MOUTH OF YOURS !!!!! A typical scene is as below. By the way, I managed to take a picture of this "Man" punya expression right after I courteously ~~begged~~ asked him to tone down. Please imagine his face throughout the following scenario.

Oi, you ask me to shar dup aaa ???!!! oyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!

Advertisement showing Jessica Alba with Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Jessica Alba ( followed by some comments to show that he has extensive knowledge about Alba's curvy body. )

Advertisement showing Maxis with some footballers.

Man : Ahh, World Cup. ( abu den ??? your lanjiao glowing aa ??!! )

Advertisement showing Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Carlsberg

Partner : Wwaaa....you so clever.

Man : Of course I know, I everyday drink one. I so macho. You like me ?MMMmmm....

PArtner : yyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..................I like you hor. You very the ker ai horrrr !!!

Man : ( Please refer to the picture I took of him again ) ...yahhh...horrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

'nuff said ....obviously both this guy and his chic or fren or watever animal is that is ultimately either stupid or not worth my time to think of an adjective.

Like I mention above, this is not an exhaustive list of people who deserved to be shipped to Iraq and let those happy Iraqi stroke your butt.

If you happen to have this tingling feeling that you might be one of the person characterized above, please feel free to paste your pic on the space below for worshipping purposes by the the great actor, Bobby Yip Kin Sang a.k.a Bat Leung Gum

EEeeee...ehehehehee....eeeeeee.....ehehehe......eeeeeeeee

If you really are one of the people above, please laaa...after being worshipped by Mr Yip, please please go and do the world a favour by joining Barisan National. I heard they are on recruitment drive and you could be a star among their ranks.

Chibetttt !!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta be "IN"......tiuniasing !!!!

2006-11-06T09:59:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

How to be a Klang Valley socialite :

1) Go to Bali or Bangkok, and then share pictures around
2) Work with a company that has offices in some ~~Paedophile~~ Philleos, Avenues,
Squares, Bangsar, KLCC, HArtamas area
3) Frequenting hot night spots. Zouk, Red, Chocolate, Nasi Lemak etc
4) Talk about Ikea.
5) Oogle about goatees.( for girls )
6) Grow goatees ( for guys )
7) Have an English name and don't let nobody know about your Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan
name
8) Talk about Japanese restaurants.
9) Make sure your occupation ends with the word "Executive" preceded by " Business" or "IT". No,
engineers aren't cool.....unless you are erection engineer.
10) Smoke like chimney !! Even if you can't smoke, wiggle one cigarette ( cigars are the fads
nowadays ) in your hands so as to impress people.
11) Laugh like mad at scenes like the one the lembu picit the milk in the movie Kung Pao.
12) Make lame jokes like "Wah, your handphone so canggih until can fly !"
13) Grow sideburns.
14) Always try to show off that you know where to eat great food.
15) Make lame jokes like " Wah, the traffic light got three lights ! Why don;t they make one with four
lights ?"

Alright, let me get me gear, hang out with some Johns, Sallys, Sandys, Michelles to dig more on what Socialites do and talk so that I can enlighten you wuzzes.

Socialites...tiuniasing !!!

Ooooooooooo !!! Nabeh !!!!!!!!

2006-09-28T08:58:00.000+08:00

by chau_fah_hai

Gracia !!!! Do I hear a comeback plea from you wuss ?????
Gracia !!! chau_fah_hai is back !!! hardo gay !! FUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

DAmn sian laaaa........oh yah, our friend wahdegreat is going to China for business trip wooorrrr....
And he's playing cool. Lanjiao fucker......

wahdegreat : Fuck pak ku or do business......fuck pak ku or do business......fuck pak ku or do business......

In Guangxi :
boss : Wah wah, come, let's fuck pak ku
wah wah : no, boss.......i wanna stay in hotel watch hardo gay.
boss : What ?
wah wah : ( take off shirt, revealing leather jacket like our hardo gay hero ) Fuiyoooo !!! hardo gay is here !!! Hardo come to save yocko !!!! Ooooooooooooooo !!!!!!!
boss : fuck u !! Get off me !!!!

Let's have a toast and grow goatee so those Sallys. Melissas, Johns, Peters, Kellys can drooll over us.

Nabeh !!!!!!!

DEMOTIVATOR

2006-09-26T13:07:00.000+08:00

-by masterkenzo-

Just when you are feeling down in the dumps, the last thing you'll expect would be for someone to sneak in from behind and shove a D24 durian up your tiny arse , all the while whispering into your ears. "It ain't a pretty world, fish!"

Scary thing is, there ARE people who enjoyed getting the above treatment. So, here you are.... a series of DEMOTIVATOR!!!

And my favourite.....

BUahahahaha!!! Just the very thing to brighten up your lousy week ,huh?
More to come , folks!! Meanwhile, enjoy the durian.....LOL

Last Prayer

2006-08-16T13:40:00.000+08:00

Few days back i received this sms from masterkenzo... and i want to share it here... and here it goes...

"Let us all pray for leong's cd player. It is a good player & it has gone thru joy & pain with all of us. It will always hav a special place in our heart. Altough de depart is abrupt but we hope tt de player is in a better place now."
- MasterKenzo

I certainly hope it does.

Car Break-in News

2006-08-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

Kuala Lumpur, Aug 14th - A japanese MPV was found breaked in last night around midnight in one of the suburban area of kuala lumpur, according to police.

The car owner was shocked when he discover about the break-in when he was about to go to work early today. The car was in total chaos. The dashboard and the box compartemnt of the car was ripped apart. The car cd player and some of the coins were also found missing from the car. According to the car owner, he parked his car in the alley next to his home the night before which he usually parked inside his house. He added that there's no alarm being raised during that night.

According to preliminary investigation of the police, they believed the thieves want to steal the vehicle (which explains the break-in) and they proceed to steal the car stereo instead. The motive behind such move was still under investigations. For the moment, the police has advises the car owners in the neighbourhood to lock their cars and rear dogs to help to curb increasing incidents of break-in and stolen cars recently in kuala lumpur.

Meanwhile, the car owner is devastated that such incidents can happen in a peaceful neighbourhood where he has been living for more that a decade. This incident reminds us how harsh reality of society can hit you anytime anywhere when you least expecting it.

Sei ! Sei ! Sei ! Foooooooo!!!!!!

2006-07-16T19:22:00.000+08:00

All the way from The Land Of Rising Sun, I present to you........

Hardoo Gei !!!! (Hard Gay) Fooooooooo!!!!!!

Chau_Fa_Hai.... you will see gays like you never see before! And you will LOVE them like there's no tomorrow!!!

Sei ! Sei ! Sei ! Foooooooo!!!!

PLEASE HELP, BELIEVE ME.. ITS TRUE!!!!

2006-07-07T14:32:00.000+08:00

Good day,

my name is X-t-rongunus from planet X-trons. As my name implies, i m alien not from earth but i landed here not on my free will 3 years ago and have since lived among u. i share much similarity with earth humans and not many people know that i m alien. by your law i m resident of singapore nationality. i am actually the leader in my planet X-trons but my ministers overthrows me because i was kind to my people and they not think the same as me.

when i fled my planet because they wanted to murder me using poison that they put in my food during my dinner at my castle, i took together with me a mineral that is very abundant in my planet. only when i come to earth do i know that in earth also have same mineral called gold. it seems that earth humans have high appreciation of this mineral that is a lot in my planet.

during my stay here, i have also discovered a weapon that can be used to take back my presidency from the betrayal ministers. to earth humans, this is sumthing very harmless but it will be harmful to people of X-trons. this new weapon that i found on earth is called paper money. sumhow the substance used to make money is very poisonus to us. even i cannot touch it. but i also discovered that my people is only poisonous to paper money of Malaysia, ringgit malaysia to be exactly.

as such, i implore to you good people of Malaysia to help me in my quest to reclaim back my planet. it doesnt matter what is the amount. it can be rm1 or even rm5. i require it in weightage. for the same kilogrammes of paper money that you contribute to me, i will return to you 2 times the weightage in gold. as i have said, this mineral is alot in X-trons.

i have approached the malaysian government for help but they have yet to come back to me. from their tones, it seems that they are not interested to help me in my quest. it seems that they are using the money to further construct a bridge to singapore and that someone named semi value is hogging the funds to build a castle for himself.

Dear good sir / madam, as such i implore for your assistance. Your can reach me on this e mail address for more discussion and briefings: x_t_rongun@alienRus.com.
This transaction is 100%risk free.
Anticipating hearing from you soon.

Thanks and God bless you and your family

X-t-rongunus

p.s. I have attached a photo of myself for clarifications should you require to meet up to further discuss on it. from my photo, i believe that you will know that i am a very established and can be trusted person.
I have asked my good friend WAHDEGREAT to help me in compiling the money that is required to help me take back my planet. Please contact him. If he asks you to transfer the cash to him. please do. Thank you again.

: Please help my planet.

HAO LIN TIAO....

2006-06-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

OI TIAO NGIA NGAI TIAO!
Where the fuck is everyone?! Please tell;
Is this a blog site or jus a fucking empty shell?
Why are there no posts or did i miss something? Did the sky fell?!

MASTERKENZO's busy with AMAWAY, i heard,
MASTERBEAR's trying to sprout wings like a bird;
and Chau_Fah_Hai's giving tech support. What a fucking nerd!
WAHDEGREAT... well i m posting now, aren't i? U FAGGORT!

Have we ran out of ideas? Have we gone dry?
OF COURSE NOT, not me! Tiu nia ma chan chi bai!
Though i can't say the same for Chau_Fah_Hai...
Where's your criticism, rantings and the likes?!

And MASTERKENZO, you started this damn blog,
Now you've vanished, like the early morning fog;
Your only remnants is that dumbass optical ops,
I hope someone will kick ya bollocks!

MASTERBEAR, the sorriest arses of all,
Don't even bother to blog, msn, or call;
You fucking bitch! Prostitute! WHORE!!!
Or you'd rather i call you a cutey little doll?

If you guys are oblivious to all these hurls & insults,
it means u guys don't even check our blog! For crying out loud!
or maybe we're just not cut-out....
to be a part of the bloggers' crowd...

wahdegreat = BraMaster !!?? Nabeh !!!!

2006-05-26T13:11:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

***Yawwwnnnn !!!***

An jua ???!! Kaneneh chibai..............

Ok, I was in MSN today and wah wah ( wahdegreat ) came online in a dastardly lansi manner, never fails in that....

He told me worked in a bra company !!!! Fuck it !!! BRA !!! YEa !! Bra !!!!! As in

<========== BraMAster!!!!

Wooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucky prick !!! People ( like masterkenzo and ~~masturbate~~masterbear ) paid astronomical amount ( heck, them two can afford it what ) and go all out just to get the latest hardware which enable them to torrent dirty movies just so they could watch boobies in action, but then our friend wahdegreat get paid to watch what boobies are !!!!! And get to watch the poetry of boobies in motion !!!

It's like ....

wahdegreat : Ma'am, may I look at your boobies ?
Ma'am : Why, yes of course. Be my guest.

Damn it, what are the fucking odds we get the same response if we start to ask such questions.
Man oh man......I wish there is a vacancy for Bra engineer.

But then again, there's a downside to this job laaa, I guess. Of course, the perk is that you have the chance not only to eye your enemy's gf's boobies, but to grope it as well..........but then again, the hazardous part comes when your boss ask you to measure that 90 year old grandma's boobies cos your boss wants you to target different segment of market...whooooaaaa, the sight of that segmet's boobies makes you think that a coroner's job is more satisfying......ninabeh !!!!

Whoa...... totally OPTICAL , man!!

2006-05-11T14:26:00.000+08:00

-by masterkenzo-

Whoa...... check this out guys!! It was a lazy afternoon in the office, there's no meeting and it's been a pretty slow week. So, I was playing around with my laptop, trying out the Windows calculator.... and suddenly...WHAM!!

I was able to hold the FUCKING calculator with my left hand and press it with my right hand!! Without using the mouse!! Cool, huh?

Yes, that's right , bIatches!! It's one of my OPTICAL ILLUSION masterpiece! And before you guys jump into conclusion that I'm using PhotoShop...Nope! I didn't use any of those Photo-Altering software. The only time I use Photoshop is when I need to crop the photo above. The trick is how I use the camera to photograph this seemingly impossible but YET possible scenario.

Start cracking your head, bIacthes!!

Funnies.........nabeh !!

2006-05-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

I was at the pantry this morning when my ultra-sensitive hearing picked up the following disturbing and intriguing conversation between a new colleague and a new trainee........

NC : Actually, can reach there ( how I know where ) faster by car.

Trainee : How come ?

NC : Because travel in car is faster than riding motorcycle if not traffic jam....

Chau_fah_hai : .......................................................

I know damn it, that car is faster than motorbike when traffic jam, but the innoccence ( and guiilibility ) protrayed was left much to be desired...and much laughter.....hahhaha...sure makes my morning feel good..nabeh !!!!

Tiao Ngia Ngai Tiao

2006-05-11T08:40:00.000+08:00

People in Malaysia like to use Hokkien profanities like ning nabeh, ho lang kan, chibai kia, lanchau chabor and stuffs like that every where. Not that I have anything against Hokkien, I myself frequently use words like “eh kanasai, lu bo da che ar?” and often with a mixture of English to exert some standard… “Brother, lu ker si la. Kong ha mi lancau language?”

BUT NO ONE gives due respect to Hakka profanities. It’s flamboyant, powerful yet flexible and full of meanings. Maybe it’s because no one actually goes around promoting it as strongly as I am…

That’s why I have decided to educate the less-educated ones on the usage of Hakka profanities. Feel free to learn it and do not be ashamed to use it. People will respect you for it. My goodself and Masterbear (Hainan exile who later joined the Hakka clan)…

chau_fah_hai: Fucking traitor!!!!
Masterkenzo: true… true…

… ahem, are two distinct proof of this. Me being advocate of profanities and him being goody-fake-fake-pretend-gentlemen only use words like “Excuse me, fuck u!”

Well then, enough about that. Let us begin our lesson with the most commonly used HPP (Hakka Power Profanities):
(How to pronounce? Pronounce it as you would in BM Baku. For those who do not know what BM Baku is, well too bad lor…)

Ma Kai Lin?
Direct Translation: “What penis?”
Meaning: What’s up?
Usage: A question.
Example:

Ngi Hi Zhong Fan Xu
Direct Translation: “You go and plant potato!”
Meaning: Please go and die.
Usage: To scold or fuck people. It is more used by Aunties to curse fishmongers / butchers / vege-sellers in the market. Not a true vulgar but strong words nonetheless.
Example:

Tiao Ngia Ngai Tiao
Direct Translation: “Fuck yours I fuck!”
Meaning: Oh my fuck!
Usage: very wide usage. More commonly used to convey surprise, happiness, anger and also malcontent.
Example:

All of these most commonly used HPP are flexible and CAN be used in practically any situations that you encounter. By practicing frequently, you will find yourself using these great Hakka profanities as if they were your second tongue.

For better results, use them together in your daily conversations. That way, not only will you be able to amaze your friends and colleagues, they will further respect you more. Don’t know how? Let me illustrate: -

Masterbear: Weh, u heard about this new technology gadget thingy called the X-3000-GHY?

Masterkenzo: (Amazed) Fuhhhh… tiao ngia ngai tiao! Really ah?

chau_fah_hai: Ehhh, ma kai lin? Wat is this ex-tree-townsend-thingy?

Masterbear: Well, it’s this new device that lets u watch over 50 channels on TV. You just need to subscribe to a decoder and get an account.

Masterkenzo, chau_fah_hai, Wahdegreat: ………..

Wahdegreat: That’s ASTRO la, ngi hi zhong fan xu la…

There you have it.

Masterbear loves meeting...........nabeh !!!

2006-05-10T17:53:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Just now, masterbear and I were on MSN, and then suddenly he says he need to go meeting......and laughing gleefully as he leaves the MSN chat room.......and this is how I depict his deep fondness and affection for company meetings...........

Nabeh !!!

After the killing spree.....nabeh !!!!

2006-05-10T12:38:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

So, after the killing spree, masterkenzo is back at what he do best......

Then, along came a super-mean-looking-dude, looking for a wholesome fun......

Mmmmm.....nipples so tits. Gimme your nipples now.

Oh yea ? You bitching whore, watch me !!!!!

Now, watch me change, you whore....neh neh neh neh

Yea, you bitching whore !! Do you like what you see ??!! You gonna gimme your nipples or what.........bitching whore you !!!!

What the fuck, I know it's lame....but I like to see you try doing the blog by just using Paint, 1 half hours, your superiors and colleague walking up and down the office........fuck you all, nabeh !!!!!

Enough with the Friend-Friend Stuff..BITCH!!

2006-05-04T18:46:00.000+08:00

-masterkenzo-

Fuck you bitches !! Can we have a stop on all these "friend-friend" stuff?? We're beginning to sound like the "Golden Girls" in their menopause ..!!

How the fuck are we gonna inccur wrath on mankind when we are busy-ing licking each other's ass here?

-_-

ooh...the humanity...

This has to end, bro.... and it ends right here.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA..!!!!!!

At last....our dignity has been restored..!!

DEATH to the INFIDELS!!

p/s : wahdegreat, when are you gonna return my book , "The Princess Who Loves The Prince Who Loves The Queen's Mother" ?? And my panty-hose? WHere the heck is MY panty-hose??

A thought on Friendships

2006-05-04T10:20:00.000+08:00

-by masterbear- (editor: oohh...at last, the great ONE surfaces...)

wahdegreat , your little warning on the 'Hex' or watever it is don't really scare me... but i think i owe you that sms thing.... not that i don't bother about it but just sometimes you just forget about it ...

after reading chaufahai and wahdegreat blog, well i makes me think for a while ... about friendships..... i've know these 3 fella here for a long time... so long that i don't remember how we get to know each other at the first place. Times flies pretty fast .... and i guess when the friendship becomes too long, we tend to take things for granted and become lazy in the relationship.... which i think the same for all others relationship as well....

i got to admit i'm becoming lazy also ... so when the 'incident' happened, it did bring the worst and best of us out. Worst , the trust we been building so long suddenly disappear and there's blaming, accusations and confusions among all of us. Bring the best of us, when we realized there're problem and we put away all our differences and resolved it for the sake of our friendship. Well that's what i did felt and feel glad about it.

So wahdegreat, i won't give a definition of friendship because i believe you don't need one if you believe in it. Like 'god', do you put in a definition to it? maybe my grasp of english and my ability to explain is kind of limited, but i do hope all my friends and readers here can understand what i'm trying to say here... if you don't maybe just drop me your comments. :-) . i'll be most appreciate it!

ps Friendship is like a highway where all of us run in our own lanes and by fate we meet and by will, we becomes friends... so someday we'll go in our own separate ways and but the memories that left behind is always remains.
Masterbear

Friendship ??? ...Nabeh

2006-05-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

- by chau_fah_hai -

Nabeh....after I uttered those immortal words a few posts ago, I was severely ~~ass~~back-lashed by my friends, namely the three moderators.

Anyway, my two cents worth on friendship. I'd figure that friendship is kinda like the versatile UHU glue. For the uninitiated, it's a kind of.....glue. You use it to stick things together. Youngsters nowadays...**sigh** When you first squeeze it out, the gum's like a fluidly yucky thing. But after a while, that damn fluidly stufffs hardened ( read : stimmmmm !! ) and the gluility is pretty tits. However, this titsy glue does not go along with any kind of materials.

Chau_fah_hai as himself : Well, analogous to friendship.......when you first get to know someone, the relationship's kinda like "Hi, you take train to work?". " Where you graduate ? " , " You take LRT to work?", "Do you use Visual Basic to write programs as a Visual Basic programmer ?" ( like, duhhhhhhh ......). After a while brokebacking with him, you found he so damn kam jing with you. You be the friend friend with him. However, if you found out he damn sipek pai kia.....

Chau_fah_hai as some old wisdomized sage : One way to see friendship is that while it can be as solid as cemented blocks reinforced with steel bars that pass thru the GigaPascals of pressure during the stress-strain tensile test( rock is tough but brittle ), it can be as fragile as a leaf trying to stand upright.

Chau_fah_hai as everybody else : Frienship.....???? Wah len nehhhhh. Like the picture below laaa !!!

White hat : mmmm....friend ?
Black hat : mmmmmmm..uaaahhhh....friend.
White hat : You and me...ermm.....friend ?
Black hat : MMmmmmmm....friendddd
White hat : mmmmm......friend.

Nevertheless........ I can't say I am an expert in friendship.....but I know I got some people around me who define bestest friends. Unrivalled. They are : Masterkenzo, Masterbear and Wahdegreat.

Tits, guys.......u guys the best.

Nabeh........